The deraj1013 diet

Eat as much vegetarian food as you can. Drink beer while doing cardio with a steep incline on the treadmill. Repeat as necessary (and I named this diet plan, so 85 years from now, when every numbnuts on the planet is blindly following my dietary manifesto rather than Atkins or South Beach or Jenny Craig, you'll know which crackpot to credit). Wearing a sweater while exercising is optional but very recommended to complete the joke.