Can't resist your charms

It isn't every day that you witness the police laying the smack down on a perp. It's even less often that the perp weighs about 90 pounds and the cops weigh an estimated 1000 pounds combined. Rarer still are the times when the person being beaten by the police is female. I'm just guessing the rarity of these instances. I am by no means a statistician.

I also have no idea what the woman did. It must have been terrible based upon the force the officers used to subdue the woman. The officers picked up what no doubt must have been a small amount of plutonium or smallpox from the pavement before the police (undoubtedly justified in their use of force) showed the alleged criminal mastermind who was boss (Answer: Not the person being smacked around by the police).

I propose three other plausible explanations for this thing that I saw today. I can confirm none of this. I am only proposing it for discussion.

A). The woman was, in fact, Maurice Clarett. The police were smacking some fear into s/him before they returned s/him to prison.

B). The woman was an unpledged Superdelegate, and members of the Democratic National Committee enlisted the officers to reason with the woman in order to get her to see things their way. She will be pledging her support to Obama (or Clinton, depending on how your version of the conspiracy is framed) by tomorrow morning.

C). This is all part of Mayor Coleman's long term plan to revitalize Downtown. If you don't buy anything, we will beat you until you do. And this woman definitely didn't have any shopping bags. They could rebuild City Center overnight if they try forcing people to shop there.

Taser my Brain

John Kerry can't buy a break. He loses the Presidential election in a controversial fashion. Now he's tied to a different controversy, this one involving a University of Florida student getting Tasered at an appearance Kerry made. This goes on to prove that wherever John Kerry goes, mistakes are sure to follow. Kerry wishes he could have flip flopped his choice of appearances.

There is a nominee for attorney general, and that nominee is Michael Mukasey. They couldn't just leave the position unattended, although putting Alberto Gonzales in charge of the justice department or suggesting Harriet Miers was fit to be on the Supreme Court was about as close as America could get to legal anarchy.

People are up in arms about the decision of Fox to censor Sally Field at the Emmys because of her swearing and talking about the Iraq war on television. Like I've been saying, Sally Field could start a riot...she makes Don Imus look like Johnny Carson. Be careful with that one.

Leading scientists are predicting a huge earthquake in the near future in Indonesia. The quake might lead to a subsequent tsunami. Predicting natural disasters in Indonesia is about as difficult as forecasting a Keith Richards drug binge or a University of Texas football arrest.You know it's coming...you just can't say exactly when.

BBC details the technological advancements made in the U.S. and U.K. now that the two countries have turned into Big Brother. It's amazing how gadgets that are supposed to make us feel safer manage to make us feel paranoid and in danger.

Finally, research is out that suggests liberals are smarter than conservatives. Some people have countered and said that the units aren't really a measurement of intellect. Whatever the truth may be, social science does support the theory that President Bush is dumber than the average slug.