ESPN censorship

So I realized while I was sending out an email to the members of my fantasy baseball league on ESPN that they edit all words out that contain a swear word. They censored the word bypass in my email because like 75 other words in the English language, it ends with the letters A-S-S.

What gives? What if I have to ask somebody on the league message board what kind of influence Dick Pole will have over a young player's career? Maybe I think that some guy is a 21st century version of Johnny Dickshot, and I need to communicate it to a league member to get a trade brewing. He isn't going to know who Johnny *%#$shot is. That's a problem. I should be free to say Dick Pole and Johnny Dickshot whenever I damn well please.

And what if Paul Assenmacher comes out of retirement? I won't even be able to trade Chen Ming Wang for him, because ESPN will censor my trade request.

Whatever. My last draft pick this year will be none other than Rusty Kuntz. Let's see them try to put a clamp on old Rusty.

Taser my Brain

John Kerry can't buy a break. He loses the Presidential election in a controversial fashion. Now he's tied to a different controversy, this one involving a University of Florida student getting Tasered at an appearance Kerry made. This goes on to prove that wherever John Kerry goes, mistakes are sure to follow. Kerry wishes he could have flip flopped his choice of appearances.

There is a nominee for attorney general, and that nominee is Michael Mukasey. They couldn't just leave the position unattended, although putting Alberto Gonzales in charge of the justice department or suggesting Harriet Miers was fit to be on the Supreme Court was about as close as America could get to legal anarchy.

People are up in arms about the decision of Fox to censor Sally Field at the Emmys because of her swearing and talking about the Iraq war on television. Like I've been saying, Sally Field could start a riot...she makes Don Imus look like Johnny Carson. Be careful with that one.

Leading scientists are predicting a huge earthquake in the near future in Indonesia. The quake might lead to a subsequent tsunami. Predicting natural disasters in Indonesia is about as difficult as forecasting a Keith Richards drug binge or a University of Texas football arrest.You know it's coming...you just can't say exactly when.

BBC details the technological advancements made in the U.S. and U.K. now that the two countries have turned into Big Brother. It's amazing how gadgets that are supposed to make us feel safer manage to make us feel paranoid and in danger.

Finally, research is out that suggests liberals are smarter than conservatives. Some people have countered and said that the units aren't really a measurement of intellect. Whatever the truth may be, social science does support the theory that President Bush is dumber than the average slug.