Massey's Pizza

I've been working hard on my goal of sampling pizza from every joint in the Columbus area. I'm a big fan of the 'za, and there are many reasons why I would undertake such a foolish venture as eating piles of pizza pies.

For one, as a former resident of the City of Big Shoulders, I have eaten some pretty good pizza. But I'm much better at picking out "must eat" pizza shops in the 312 than I am at picking pies in the 614.

Also, I have an unhealthy preoccupation with having more esoteric knowledge than anyone else in the room about a given topic...even pizza. In my imaginary world where women find knowledge about obscure Rhone grape varietals, characters from HBO series and pizza quality indescribably sexy, this is how I imagine one scene going:

Enter a dark and smoky room, late at night, during a large, rather boisterous party.

Random Jerkoff: Man, I'm hungry. We should order some pizza from Pizzeria X, yo. They have like the best pizza in Franklin county.

Me: What in the f#$* are you talking about, douchebag. Pizzeria X is nowhere near the best pizza in the area.

Random Jerkoff: Dude, it totally is like the best, you know. If it isn't the best, it's mos def in the top three.

Me: Top three? Do you subsist off a diet of saw dust and car grease? Pizzeria X is ranked 43rd on the USA Today Coaches Poll Columbus pizza rankings. It was demolished by Pizzeria A, it clearly was dominated by Pizzeria B in the trenches, and that victory over Pizzeria Y was questionable at best based upon the pushout rule that cretin ref issued. Pizzeria X is lucky to be in the Papa John's Bowl...of pizza.

Eveyone cheers, picks up their cell phones and dials Pizzeria A delivery. Me exits stage right, talking in low voice about the third season of Oz and the Bourboulenc grape's light acidity with Rihanna, Mischa Barton and a cadre of Suicide Girls while everybody cheers his discerning pizza palate.

OK, so it's never going to happen like that. But a man can dream, can't he?

Anyway...along my never ending quest, I tried Massey's Pizza in Westerville. Massey's is a small chain that has pizza, stromboli and subs for vegetarians on the menu. I modified the veggie pizza, dropping black olives and adding green olives.

The pizza crust is thin. The sauce is great. The toppings are voluminous, including what surely was an entire large white onion along with green olives, green peppers and fresh mushrooms. I can see how Massey's won both the prestigious This Week Best Pizza online poll and the coveted Otterbein College's Favorite Pizza Award...this is seriously damned good pizza, all tongue-in-cheek jokes aside.

I was especially fond of the reheating instructions, which recommended reheating the pizza in a skillet. I don't know if it works, and I was too afraid to give it a try. Maybe next time.

Massey's toppings were very good. The pictures will show you how many onions they put on a pizza. If you don't like onions, don't order pizza with onions, or you will be crushed by an avalanche of onion. I will definitely have to sample the white pizza and the four cheese pizza, because if they are as good as the pizza pictured above was, they will be tasty.

I can't say if Westerville is the only Massey's that is great, or if all of them are equally good. I'll have to travel the circuit on my pizza quest. Enjoy the pictures below.

Massey's Pizza