Veg-E-News

Sorry I've been a little lazy posting lately. Life has been a tad bit busy the last few weeks. I'll throw in a little veggie news to keep this blog alive until I can get back to my bread and butter...complaining about the lack of vegetarian eats at local eateries and writing about anything and everything fermented. Let's do this!

Believe it or not, Pamela Anderson is mired in a new type of controversy. This time, the former Baywatch babe is denying rumors that she was eating a hot dog at her son's baseball game. Pam claims it was nothing more than a veggie hot dog, and credits herself with getting the vendor at the games to serve veggie burgers and hot dogs along with his dead animal fare. Ultimately, this ranks second in terms of the most offensive things I have seen Pam Anderson put in her mouth, so she gets a free pass on this one.

Vegetarian ethicists are up in arms about the newest wave in carnivorous consumption--test tube meat. Scientists are developing the technology to cultivate muscle tissue in a laboratory rather than from the tried and true method of slaughterhouse production. PETA might be supporting the effort, but I'm not eating chicken whether it came from a farm or a beaker. Call me old fashioned, I guess.

Finally, it might not be vegetarian news, but The New Yorker ran a feature by D.T. Max on the cancer treatment of my favoritest chef in the whole wide world, Grant Achatz (there's also a feature in the new Chicago magazine). Achatz, the domestic auteur of molecular gastronomy, performed magically when I requested a vegetarian meal on a previous visit to his restaurant Alinea. I also ate a birthday meal at Trio when he was the chef, and the experience was equally divine. This is a great article, and Alinea is an experience that everybody should have at least once in their life (if not every day if they possess the means).

Grant Achatz is One Hell of a Chef

Culinary whiz kid Grant Achatz, 33, the guy in charge of the hyped temple of gastronomy Alinea, recently received a grim diagnosis of Stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma of the mouth. The disease has a treatment that will come with a price. At the minimum, it may cost the chef his sense of taste. At the maximum, it could also cost him his life.

Achatz has received numerous accolades throughout his life that make this more interesting. In 2002, he was named one of the Best New Chefs in "Food and Wine" magazine when he was the executive chef at Trio in Evanston. "Gourmet" magazine rated his new restaurant Alinea as the best restaurant in the United States last year. He was named one of Chicago's sexiest singles in this year's Chicago magazine feature.

Two of the greatest meals I ever ate in my life were served at Achatz establishments. My birthday meal at Trio years ago was beyond words. The amuse bouche was a parmesan cheese ice cream sandwich. I also distinctly remember that he made a hot and cold coconut soup served on a glass sculpture that was divine in both contrast and flavor. Achatz made world class cuisine at Trio that impressed vegetarians and carnivores alike. The restaurant hasn't been the same since Achatz's departure.

I also got an opportunity to eat at Alinea, his palace of fine dining that is as distinctive as something you would expect to experience on an alien planet. Exploding coconut butter orbs in celery juice. Foamed cheese and herbs served beside grilled watermelon (pictured above). Even the bread and butters were out of this world. A peeled piece of tomato with every manner of taste and texture present in the dish was as exciting to eat as it was to view. The wine, which included a glass of Remezieres Hermitage Cuvee Emile, was perfect.

Apparently, his very talented pastry chef left one week after I ate there. The desserts at the meal that night were other worldly. His culinary flair is matched by the quality of his service, which is as impressive as it gets. Dining at Alinea was easily one of the greatest experiences I've ever had in my life, eating or otherwise. I wish Grant nothing but the best. Hopefully diners had a chance to experience his magic touch, and hopefully Achatz will come out and be able to continue in his inimitable style so you can taste his passion for food once in your life.

I was especially touched by his reference to Beethoven composing one of his greatest works after falling deaf. Achatz compared this story to the idea of a master chef like himself losing his sense of taste, looking optimistically at the future. However he comes out, he changed the way that I think about food. Achatz opened doors for me that I would never have known about otherwise. If Achatz doesn't survive, his legacy will shine on. If he sticks around, the world (and my stomach) will be a better place.

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

The Greatest Living American Novelist is no longer Kurt Vonnegut. Good luck equaling him, whoever next steps up to the plate. Whoever approaches him as a writer will have to do much in life to equal him as a human being. May your afterlife be as productive and fulfilling as your life, Mr. Vonnegut. Bless you and your piercing insight.

You are a wampeter, an object on which many unrelated people's lives are centered. I can tell myself foma, harmless little lies that won't bring you back. A writer like myself hopes not to become part of a grandfalloon in your absence and any attempt for me to find my voice in writing is eternally in your debt.

About the news...so it goes. Al Qaeda groups are linked to a bombing in Algeria that claimed 24 lives. The event highlights a struggle between Islamic and secular groups in Algeria. British soccer fans are irate that the bomb was not aimed a few hundred miles north in the middle of France.

In other hater news, U.S. military officials are renewing accusations of Iranian assistance being provided to Iraqi insurgents. Since American officials needed sheer speculation to start a war with Iraq, the cruise missiles should start dropping in about two weeks.

Further around the Axis of Evil wheel is the report of a U.S. inquiry and subsequent asset freezing of an account in a Chinese bank in the gambling center of Macao. Officials suspected the bank was laundering money for North Korea. These moves stalled North Korea's joining in peace negotiations about their nuclear ambitions. The U.S. sees negative potential from the money, while Kim Jong Il I'm sure claims that he earned the money when he wrote six Wagner-quality operas and that the money is his. Nobody may ever know who is telling the truth.

Don Imus is gone. Good riddance. Just remember Don, free speech isn't free when you pay with your job.

David Sedaris of the Washington Post has come under fire for fabrications in his humor columns. He has also received an unwaivering degree of support from other journalists. Nick Bakay, Kenny Mayne, the author of this column and journalists with a sense of humor might care for an answer. (That answer is truth counts no matter how funny it is, David S., especially in the Washington Post.)

There are indications of a medical procedure that makes chemotherapy more targeted and less toxic in a development reported as a breakthrough in oncology. Keep that number on speed dial.

In a slightly dated report, the Google Earth/Darfur project should provide Bush a computerized model of what is going on in Sudan, but I don't know if that will help. Hopefully another world leader catches on.

Heavyweight boxing might not be exciting like the good old days, but freak-show 7 foot tall 326 pound champion Nikolai Valuev is fighting a challenger who is 11 inches shorter and 101 pounds lighter than he is. David, meet Goliath.

Mike Downey takes on a dome on Wrigley, Dannielynne, Soriano, Bonds, Sosa, Cuban and Bartman in one column. If you can think of a joke punchline that involves all of those characters, comment on the blog here.

Crazy stories that have no news value but are always amongst the most e-mailed include the Lantern story about the 18 year police veteran who gave a presentation on legalizing drugs. The T-shirt and cowboy hat cement his credibility.

Speaking of drugs, British police raided a Rastafarian temple once visited by Bob Marley and issued gun and drug charges. I don't want to say they should have thought it out, but the cops could have guessed the Rastafarians would have marijuana, and they also know that Marley shot the sheriff. Even if he didn't shoot the deputy, it's enough for probable cause stateside.

Poo too weet!