Gratuitous Gore and Violence

Al Gore III is busy worrying his father while he supports the environment. The Gore family had little to say about their son's arrest for marijuana and prescription drugs. If Al Gore Jr. was trying to keep a lid on this issue, appearing on Larry King Live is not the best way to approach the situation. If nothing else, the environmentally conscious Gore can trumpet the 100-mph speed achieved by the hybrid Prius. Al Gore: Saving the environment one burnout at a time.

George Bush's base of support in Iraq is eroding with New Mexico Senator Pete Domenici (R) throwing his support behind a withdrawl effort for Iraq. At this point, John McCain, Dick Cheney, George Bush, Bill O'Reilly and Al-Qaeda in Iraq are the only people who still support this war.

On the other front, civilian casualties in Afghanistan are substantially increasing. I don't know who is keeping score here, but it seems like everybody is losing the war on terror.

Now that Mayor Bloomberg might have maybe possibly could have thought about considering running for President, the glare of the spotlight is turned on his predecessor (and Republican Presidential candidate) Rudy Giuliani. Hopefully the lights don't call attention to Rudy's interesting taste in makeup.

The other side of the fence is made up of contenders and pretenders, as is the Republican ticket. One of the Democrats flying under the radar is Joe Biden, a candidate who isn't afraid to shoot from the hip. Of course, the American public has proven time and again that name recognition trumps real qualifications any day of the week.

Europe, a continent that seems to be perpetually 10 years ahead of the U.S., expressed privacy concerns about Google acquiring online advertising giant DoubleClick. The right to privacy is expressly protected in Europe, while it is not protected by law in the United States. The only thing that keeps people from becoming very upset with Google is the fact that the other side of the competition is the even more deplorable Microsoft.

Judea Pearl authored a powerful editorial about extremism and the message in the movie "A Mighty Heart." The film is about Pearl's son Daniel, a journalist who was killed in Pakistan by Al- Qaeda. You will get nothing but support from me regarding any editorial that criticizes Hollywood's myopic shortsightedness.

Local weird news starts off in the sports section. Ohio fans who were disappointed by Ohio State's appearances in the football and basketball national championships, Cavs fans who were disappointed by the team getting swept by the Spurs, and Reds fans who are waiting on OU alum Bob Brenly to lead them out of the basement have a new sport to keep them interested. Representatives from the Animal Protective League are reporting a steady increase in cockfighting in Ohio. If Ohio State puts together a team, they'll probably get blown out by Florida's cockfighting team.

Finally, the Village Voice ran a great article about career change options. Cake baker Chaka Raysor worked with children's birthday cakes for a decade before his old career habits caught up with him. Raysor's previous job? He was a drug gang kingpin wanted for murder and trafficking. He outran the police by flying under the radar in Brooklyn. If you thought sugary cake gets your kids amped up, give them sugary cake made by a former crack dealer to really get their mojo working.

He's Got a Puncher's Chance

The Cubs have shipped Michael Barrett off to San Diego for scrap metal. As displayed in the above photograph, thanks for the memories, Michael.

The proposed Mexican border fence is expected to alter the routines of many people, including Americans who aren't traveling to Mexico. It's amazing that our government can get motivated to build a fence to control immigration while earlier being incapable of putting any real effort into building the levee in New Orleans.

British officials have approached fighting terrorism by employing Muslims who are fluent in Arabic to work in anti-terrorism. This is a stark contrast to the United States, where President Bush expects all terrorists to speak in English so he doesn't have to use tax money to educate his intelligence forces. The city of Cincinnati and its football team could benefit from this approach by hiring former criminally-minded Bengal Corey Dillon to be the new sheriff in town.

Michael Bloomberg is promising not to be the only New York douche bag in the 2008 election. He cut ties with the Republican party, paving a path for the reclusive billionaire to run as an independent candidate. If Clinton, Giuliani and Bloomberg offer a trifecta of New Yorkers to vote for President, I'm voting Libertarian or Communist, whichever party Bloomberg isnt affiliated with.

Hillary Clinton announced her campaign theme song in a You Tube spot that parodied the recent "Sopranos" finale. The final episode of the mafia drama left a lot of the series uncertain and open to interpretation. It's too bad that we know Hillary's campaign prospects weren't whacked at the end of the You Tube episode.

Archeologists have identified the Americas' first gun shot victims. The Spanish conquistadors hunted down a band that resisted their occupation in Peru in 1536. Police have been contacted, and it is not clear what Pacman Jones' alibi was during the aftermath of the siege of Lima.

Microsoft caved in and agreed to allow changes to the way the much lamented Vista operates. As soon as they agree to allow changes that include building a new, not-Vista operating system and replacing the old Vista piece of junk for me, I agree to stop complaining about Vista's shortcomings.