Imus and the Mourning

He's back (in black, even). Don Imus, the human race riot of the air waves, returned to the radio with two African American comedians as part of his zoo crew (charade). The question is this: if a racist windbag makes halfhearted apologies on the air and nobody tunes in to listen, does he make a sound?

The big story of the day involves U.S. officials reporting that the Iranian nuclear program is shut down for the time being and that they are not a short term threat to produce nuclear weapons. President Bush remains undeterred, saying American policy will remain unchanged despite the reports. He might justify an invasion based upon a new Iranian policy to crack down on hip hop. Bush never let contrary evidence dissuade him from his strongly held but ideologically flawed plans in the past, so this should be business as usual.

Gillian Gibbons, the teacher involved in the Sudanese blasphemous teddy bear fracas, has spoken about this ordeal after she returned home to Britain. Whatever her message, I'm sure that her testimony will not be utilized in tourist videos promoting vacations to Sudan.

Now that the G.O.P. and the Dems have both held Web 2.0 debates, critics say that the format is here to stay. By 2020, Max Headroom may in fact be the leading candidate for President of the United States.

Rolling Stone's latest feature details the elements that led to the abysmal failure that is the war on drugs. This article breaks down the failures of American drug regulation that birthed a culture that would create a drug called "butt hash."

And I'll finish up with a new media report about the stalker engine/social networking outlet Facebook and its latest battle with privacy advocates. Coming on the heels of the controversial opt-out tracking program Beacon are the reports of Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg losing his legal appeal to have a Harvard-associated publication take down less than flattering documents about his past in a move aimed at giving the young mogul a feeling of the shoe-on-the-other-foot feeling that goes along with Facebook-style privacy concerns. If Zuckerberg doesn't focus his company on benefiting the consumer using his product, he'll be losing Facebook friends faster than the people in charge of college loans.

The Popemobile is Inferior to the Batmobile

Germany shows off its penchant for satire and humor with the G-8 shuffle. Dopey the Dwarf leads the way, suggesting that Germany could be a contender for the title one of the strangest nations on the planet.

The Scooter Libby Pardon fiasco is a tender pimple coming to a head on the face of President Bush. Jessica Simpson recommends Proactiv. Bush is hoping nobody notices this zit amongst all of the other acne exploding on his face.

The Republican debate saw candidates sprinting as away from the president as he is trying to run away from Libby. Most of the G.O.P. is steering away from Bush in a similar fashion to the way in which the Onion demonstrates retired General George Washington opposing the war in Iraq. It is possible that the Onion staff mistook septuagenarian candidate John McCain for Washington.

Representative William Jefferson (D--LA) was indicted on multiple charges of corruption recently. President Bush was excited that somebody not connected with his office was accused of being moral corrupt.

The Christian Science Monitor goes over the semantics of determining unlawful combatant status at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. This is an interesting avenue to explore, especially since the practices of waterboarding and suspension of habeas corpus probably haven't damaged the United States' reputation enough. Suspension of habeas corpus is probably the only thing that will keep Representative Jefferson from a conviction. Really the only way to get an in depth legal analysis on legal protocol is to ask Slate about real legal conundrums, such as why hit men drop their guns at the scene of the crime in mafia dramas. My guess is because if hitmen are involved in the legal system, they typically less likely to be pseudo-drowned and/or pseudo-convicted.

L.A. Times reporter Megan Stack details the open misogynism that marks Saudi culture, and explains the influence this has on her life at home and abroad. Stack equates her experience in Saudi Arabia to societies segregated by race or other arbitrary guidelines. Saudi Arabia contrasts strongly from Athens, where the arbitrary guidelines succeed in discriminating against athletes regardless of gender in athletic programs. At least that's the party line being defended by Ohio University and its athletics department. Good luck with that one, Hocutt.

The only thing crazier than Title IX legislation and its relationship to Islam is the guy who missed the Pope by one row of seats in the Popemobile. No matter what Benedict claims, he is infallible so he would have known the yahoo was going to miss him. Oh the benefits of a spiritually ignorant existence! Germany is bizarre; the case is closed.