If you're looking for a vacation in a fun place full of culture for the whole family, Minneapolis might be the place for you. You can take a family photograph at the toilet stall where Larry Craig allegedly solicited gay sex along with all the other shutterbugs. You'll get the opportunity to teach the kids about government and uh, other things.
German authorities are reporting the arrest of three people plotting to launch terrorist attacks against American and Teutonic targets, seizing a cache of explosives and military detonators that were to be used against unnamed targets in the country. The materials confiscated by the authorities potentially would have been the biggest bomb to explode in Germany since the David Hasselhoff Hamburger video surfaced.
Iraq continues to pile up the bad news. Reports indicate that the Iraqi army will be unable to take over for American forces within the next 18 months. Experts are also crediting reports of decreased violence in Iraq to dubious accounting practices. Hopefully this is all part of the continuing success of the troop surge.
After this blog commented on the pitfalls that have rained down upon the Republican party, the news came in that Paul Gilmore, a Senator from Ohio, died in his apartment at the age of 68. Most Republicans were wishing that Larry Craig would have dropped dead and that Paul Gillmore would have stuck around, but hey--you can't win them all.
Are you ready for some football? The NFL season starts tonight with the Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Colts facing the NFC Championship also-ran New Orleans Saints. The Onion is predicting big things for Brady Quinn. Hopefully another Cincinnati Bengal doesn't get arrested in the stands before their first game on Monday.
The biggest story in college football this year was Appalachian State beating the juggernaut that is Michigan. Now rival Ohio State fans are creating a huge demand for Appalachian State wear in order to taunt the rival Wolverines. Salt, meet open wound.
Finally, in music news, the opera world was dealt a tragic blow as one of its most notable figures has died of pacreatic cancer at the age of 71. Luciano Pavarotti, the most noted of the great Three Tenors, lost a long battle with the disease. He was noted for his warm stage presence, his rich and vibrant tone and his clear diction of Romance languages. Pavarotti was one of the latest in a long line of opera stars to cross over into the realm of pop culture. Recordings will be all that remains of one of the greatest voices of all time.
Germany shows off its penchant for satire and humor with the G-8 shuffle. Dopey the Dwarf leads the way, suggesting that Germany could be a contender for the title one of the strangest nations on the planet.
The Scooter Libby Pardon fiasco is a tender pimple coming to a head on the face of President Bush. Jessica Simpson recommends Proactiv. Bush is hoping nobody notices this zit amongst all of the other acne exploding on his face.
The Republican debate saw candidates sprinting as away from the president as he is trying to run away from Libby. Most of the G.O.P. is steering away from Bush in a similar fashion to the way in which the Onion demonstrates retired General George Washington opposing the war in Iraq. It is possible that the Onion staff mistook septuagenarian candidate John McCain for Washington.
Representative William Jefferson (D--LA) was indicted on multiple charges of corruption recently. President Bush was excited that somebody not connected with his office was accused of being moral corrupt.
The Christian Science Monitor goes over the semantics of determining unlawful combatant status at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. This is an interesting avenue to explore, especially since the practices of waterboarding and suspension of habeas corpus probably haven't damaged the United States' reputation enough. Suspension of habeas corpus is probably the only thing that will keep Representative Jefferson from a conviction. Really the only way to get an in depth legal analysis on legal protocol is to ask Slate about real legal conundrums, such as why hit men drop their guns at the scene of the crime in mafia dramas. My guess is because if hitmen are involved in the legal system, they typically less likely to be pseudo-drowned and/or pseudo-convicted.
L.A. Times reporter Megan Stack details the open misogynism that marks Saudi culture, and explains the influence this has on her life at home and abroad. Stack equates her experience in Saudi Arabia to societies segregated by race or other arbitrary guidelines. Saudi Arabia contrasts strongly from Athens, where the arbitrary guidelines succeed in discriminating against athletes regardless of gender in athletic programs. At least that's the party line being defended by Ohio University and its athletics department. Good luck with that one, Hocutt.
The only thing crazier than Title IX legislation and its relationship to Islam is the guy who missed the Pope by one row of seats in the Popemobile. No matter what Benedict claims, he is infallible so he would have known the yahoo was going to miss him. Oh the benefits of a spiritually ignorant existence! Germany is bizarre; the case is closed.
The results are in. Politicians are officially insane. The Los Angeles Tribune features an editorial that cites a study that found that one out of three Democrats believe George Bush had prior knowledge of the 9/11 attacks. The author calls the party "out of their gourds."
If he thinks that's crazy, he should check out the 30 percent of Republicans who don't believe in evolution. There is a little more hard line science behind evolution than speculation, at any rate.
