Juergen's Bakery and Restaurant

Juergen's Bakery and Restaurant is an intimate, old fashioned German bakery conveniently located in German Village. Amidst the Bavarian classics, Juergen's offers up a couple of meatless entrees, sides and baked goods to showcase how vegetarians are embraced by Teutonic cuisine.

Upon walking through the door, diners are first met by a bakery case filled with cakes, cream puffs and other pastries designed to irritate your doctor but delight your dentist. Another bakery benefit for diners is the ample, endless bread basket that came with bread rolls, whole grain nut bread, a cheese roll and a few other savory bread and butter packets.

Vegetarian items on the menu include the spätzle and red cabbage sides as well as the spinach and cheese strudel and the mixed veggie strudel. While portions are small, prices are inexpensive (under $7 for both strudels). Diners who want to get stuffed should gorge themselves on the bread basket and order a side.

The veggie strudel was topped with sauteed carrots, green onions, potatoes, cauliflower and cabbage with a dill accented sauce. The flaky pastry binds the vegetables together nicely.

Service is leisurely. A member of staff was playing art songs on the in-house piano. There is seating for about 30 people at Juergen's.

My camera battery died, and most of these photos came out less than stellar. There are much better pictures of food (including non-vegetarian items) here.

Juergen's German Bakery

Tis the Seasonal

This is the season where beer gives to its drinkers a greater bounty than almost any other time of the year. I'll drink through a few of them so you don't have to waste your time drinking junk.

Ale Smith is a San Diego brewery that specializes in carefully crafted beers of mamoth flavor proportions. The Yulesmith Holiday ale is an Imperial red ale made with generous quantities of malt and hops. This brew is less spicy than many of the other holiday beers that are flavored with herbs and spices, but it has as much if not more character. Ale Smith is almost always a quality product, and the latest holiday brew is no exception.

Abita is a Louisiana brewery that also produces a Christmas beer. This year's batch stays true to the old form--a dark ale with a faint hops character. The beer is light in character, and doesn't posess the character of many of the other seasonal offerings. This is a Christmas beer for people who detest craft beer because it has too much flavor...and I'm not one of those people.

Lakewood, Ohio is home to Buckeye Brewing. Their holiday beer is also not a spiced holiday ale. Instead, it is a Belgian-styled dubbel ale with all of the sweet fruit notes and the yeasty complexity that can only come from bottle conditioning. This is a well made beer that has enough alcohol to keep you warm through the winter months.

Sammy Smith always makes one of the most widely available winter ales, and it's widely available for a reason--it's good as hell! The beer (called "Winter Welcome ale") continues to illustrate my misstep in identifying holiday beers as spice oriented (even though they typically are). This beer is medium bodied, with a rich malt character alongside a classic European hops aroma. The other cool colectible thing is that each year has a different label (the picture in the middle changes while everything else stays the same), making the beer easy to stockpile if difficult not to drink.

Every beer this time of year is not neccessarily seasonal. Victory has a few limited time offerings that were pretty tasty. Hop Wallop is the Pennsylvania brewery's uber-hopped beer, and it possesses a complex floral aroma with a hint of cotton candy and a trace of leather. My ghetto palate estimates that the beer has about 90+ ibus, and it will knock your palate out for the night. Enjoy this beer beside a giant bowl of chili and don't plan on drinking more than two because the bitterness will overwhelm you.

The other Victory beer that just came out was their barley wine Old Horizontal. The brew features toffee, apple, citrus and tar notes backed by a sneaky high alcohol content of 10.5 percent. The date on the bottle says drink before the end of 2012, and I bet this would be deliciously integrated by the next Presidential election.

If Jever isn't the finest pilsner on the planet, I challenge somebody to find a better European continental brew. The one shortcoming the beer has is that faint skunk character that is overpowered by an aggressive hops aroma and flavor as well as a surprisingly clean finish for a beer with this level of bitterness. The green bottle funk is more than superceded by the quality of the ingredients. This brew is a German classic that doesn't get as much recognition as it should for its stark individuality.

Akron brew pub the Hopping Frog offers a double IPA known as Mean Manalishi. I've never been wild about these beers, but this brew is restrained (for a double IPA), with pine flavors and aromas that create a dynamic brew that seperates itself from the other offerings from Hopping Frog.

Mikkeller offers a number of interesting brews, including the Black Hole coffee stout. This beer was so good, I'll let their PR practitioners describe the flavor for you. "An imperial stout brewed with: water, malt, roasted barley, flaked oats, dark cassanade, honey, hops, coffee, vanilla and ale yeast. Finally……! Black Hole is what Mikkeller is all about. Daring, vulgar and extreme. From the very beginning Mikkellers goal has been to push the limit and with this warming, intense imperial stout, a new chapter in the Danish beer history has been written. The high bitterness from the hops and the sweetness from the malt and alcohol, creates a good balance which makes Black Hole an explosion of nuances, but also leaves a feeling of a perfect and complex beer – in the heavyweight category." If you like coffee, you'll love this.

If the label says "Dogfish Head," you know it's f-ing good. (They can have that slogan for free if they need it for future marketing campaigns.) Pangaea is a beer brewed almost every year with ingredients from all seven continents. There is water from Antarctica, ginger from Australia, basmati rice from Asia, and malt, hops, yeast and something else from the other continents. This beer has a long finish that starts up front with ginger and floral hops before the malt lingers on the tongue. Buy this and drink in excess.

I'm not going to lie--I bought the Arcadia beer Big Dick's Old Ale because it had the word dick in the name. But the beer was surprisingly good, with flavors that show off tons of malt and a hint of smoke and brown sugar. This beer tasted like it needed about six to eight months more of bottle age before it was ready to be consumed. It should last for some time.

Thomas Hardy is a top-notch vintage ale with tons of fruit notes that lighten up as time goes on. This beer will age forever and a day, and the 2005 vintage is no different. With notes of nougat, figs and honey, this beer will be around long after these flavors fade and new ones emerge. Buy some, and save half of them for a rainy day.

I also tried Schneider Weisse, an organic German wheat beer with a citrus flavor along with a light, undistinguished finish. The beer is good, but not good enough to make me pass up the other more mainstream German weizen beers.

The Fort Collins brewery offers the Retro Red, which is an off-dry beer with a ruby tint and a clean finish. The beer is tasty if unspectacular. It is a good beer for a session of lawn mowing, but it lacks the complexity to make it a savoring brew. I like it but I don't love it, and you should do the same.

Enjoy the beer advice--I hope your evening with beer is better because of it!

Tis the Seasonal

The iPhone Martyr

Hamas TV finally found a way to end negotiations with Disney about their Mickey Mouse knockoff Farfour. Farfour met his end, becoming the first martyr on children's television. Israel responded promptly with air strikes that, while not aimed at stopping the Kenny-like resurrection of Martyr Mouse, probably should be.

Police in London located and disabled two car bombs one day before two men in a flaming SUV drove directly into a Glasgow airport terminal. The incident led to heightened security stateside. As long as David Beckham and his enormous contract are in good condition, the situation should be fine.

After a few months on the DL, the Supreme Court has returned to the mainstream. The NYTimes reports that the newly-minted Roberts court with the well-trained legal beagle Samuel Alito has shifted to the right. Many decisions are split 5-4, with Kennedy acting as the tiebreaker. The New Republic details the ideological divide between the conservative jurists. One of the biggest sticking points between the old-guard conservatives and the new blood is that Clarence Thomas has much rougher taste in porn compared to Alito and Roberts.

That same court will be re-deciding the Gitmo issue soon. If it's anything but a 9-0 decision in opposition of the issue of indefinite detentions, impeach every justice in support of Guantanamo and make them serve an indefinite detention there until they see it the right way.

Since the news is all legal today, Germany is considering overturning all decisions of execution for treason during the Nazi era. Since all of those sentenced have already been executed, it is unclear what this action would accomplish. If anybody buys into it, though, it might be a spectacular plan for utilizing sleight of hand tricks in rebuilding America's future post-Bush diplomatic efforts.

Joel Siegel, the ABC film critic who could make or break a film on ABC News, lost his long battle with cancer. It was probably best before he got an opportunity to be exposed to Ocean's 14.

He also was lucky enough to go before witnessing the carnage that is people stupid enough to wait 15 hours in line for an iPhone. That should be doubly good if the iPhone is not as cool as advertised.

The Popemobile is Inferior to the Batmobile

Germany shows off its penchant for satire and humor with the G-8 shuffle. Dopey the Dwarf leads the way, suggesting that Germany could be a contender for the title one of the strangest nations on the planet.

The Scooter Libby Pardon fiasco is a tender pimple coming to a head on the face of President Bush. Jessica Simpson recommends Proactiv. Bush is hoping nobody notices this zit amongst all of the other acne exploding on his face.

The Republican debate saw candidates sprinting as away from the president as he is trying to run away from Libby. Most of the G.O.P. is steering away from Bush in a similar fashion to the way in which the Onion demonstrates retired General George Washington opposing the war in Iraq. It is possible that the Onion staff mistook septuagenarian candidate John McCain for Washington.

Representative William Jefferson (D--LA) was indicted on multiple charges of corruption recently. President Bush was excited that somebody not connected with his office was accused of being moral corrupt.

The Christian Science Monitor goes over the semantics of determining unlawful combatant status at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. This is an interesting avenue to explore, especially since the practices of waterboarding and suspension of habeas corpus probably haven't damaged the United States' reputation enough. Suspension of habeas corpus is probably the only thing that will keep Representative Jefferson from a conviction. Really the only way to get an in depth legal analysis on legal protocol is to ask Slate about real legal conundrums, such as why hit men drop their guns at the scene of the crime in mafia dramas. My guess is because if hitmen are involved in the legal system, they typically less likely to be pseudo-drowned and/or pseudo-convicted.

L.A. Times reporter Megan Stack details the open misogynism that marks Saudi culture, and explains the influence this has on her life at home and abroad. Stack equates her experience in Saudi Arabia to societies segregated by race or other arbitrary guidelines. Saudi Arabia contrasts strongly from Athens, where the arbitrary guidelines succeed in discriminating against athletes regardless of gender in athletic programs. At least that's the party line being defended by Ohio University and its athletics department. Good luck with that one, Hocutt.

The only thing crazier than Title IX legislation and its relationship to Islam is the guy who missed the Pope by one row of seats in the Popemobile. No matter what Benedict claims, he is infallible so he would have known the yahoo was going to miss him. Oh the benefits of a spiritually ignorant existence! Germany is bizarre; the case is closed.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

I wouldn't be the first person ever to accuse the Cubs of being unlucky. One day after pitcher Carlos Zambrano knocked out his battery mate Michael Barrett in a fight that went from the dugout to the clubhouse, manager Lou Pinella was ejected for one of his signature dirt kicking tirades. Jay Mariotti might have gotten it right about the team...what a bunch of Lou-sers.

If you think that Wrigley Field is the only spot with calamitous violence in this news cycle, think again. There were more than 100 German police officers injured in a riot that erupted in reaction to the G-8 summit meeting in the Fatherland. If nothing else, the opponents of globalization will be contributing to the coffers of those who work in the medical and automobile repair industries. The score for now is Corporate Culture 1, Radical Reform Movement 0. We will keep you updated on any changes as they occur.

Not to be outdone in violence, a U.S. warship was blowing the crap out of a Somali militant hotbed today. You have to like being able to bomb somebody to the dark ages while floating around at sea. If I had that ability, I'd be drinking margaritas on the deck while floating off the coast of Los Angeles, lobbing cruise missiles at as many of the Spellings, Baldwins and their ilk as possible on board my imaginary warship.

Violence even spilled back into New York today, with federal agents breaking up a plan to blow up jet fuel lines at JFK airport. There hasn't been a bomb scare like this in New York since the Yankees put Carl Pavano on the disabled list. That bomb, followed by A-Rod's marriage bomb and Giambi's amphetamine bomb make this an explosive, if unproductive Yankees team.

The 2008 election is fast approaching, which means all the loonies are putting their hats into the ring. Fred Thompson, a.k.a. district attorney Arthur Branch on "Law and Order," has formed a fundraising committee for his campaign. Nobody knows what he stands for, nor do they really care, but if he gets Jack McCoy to be Attorney General and Mariska Hargitay to be Vice President, he has my vote. (And don't laugh...you might remember the last time the Republicans ran an actor for President.)

Also running for the Republican nomination is Ron Paul, a libertarian eccentric who is opposed to...basically every Republican value. I may not be a campaign planner, but it seems that going against what has become standard Republican protocol might be the only way of winning an election. And no, nominating a Mormon rather than an old-fashioned Baptist is not enough against the grain.

The NY Times continues with more government action to clean up the fiasco that is student loans. Hopefully when that gets fixed, they can lend Ron Paul some money to make the Presidential debates that much more interesting.

In professional football news (the football they kick with their feet rather than throw with their hands), Cristiano Ronaldo was named player of the year and young player of the year in professional soccer. Before he even got the trophies, the Yankees and the Cubs were on the phone, learning how to ask, "Can you throw a baseball?" in Portuguese.

Fighting with Hair Bands and Fucking with Soccer Stars

There is great goofy news to post today. If the above video of Dee Snider in tight pink pants fighting a street hood in some undisclosed location doesn't get you motivated, nothing will. (I heard about it on Stern today...it is hilarious!)

In the too funny to fabricate category, German soccer stars Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn won a lawsuit against a German sex shop chain for using their names on a series of vibrators. I find soccer tremendously boring to watch, but if there were a couple of vibrators involved, I might pay attention for a minute.

Finally, the giant windbag Jerry Falwell finally ran out of gas. The founder of the Moral Majority and an icon of the religious right in the United States died today at the age 73. Analysts believe Falwell is going to heaven as his legacy of church-first bible-thumpers that elected George W. Bush President will be left behind here on Earth as Falwell speeds along to the afterlife.

News You Can Peruse

The Cubbies...you can set your watch by their consistent inconsistency. Hopefully the new outfielder's potential doesn't end up being Pie in the sky.

The story of the day continues to be the Virginia Tech shooting. The identity of the shooter was announced (he's also a hell of a playwright), but the media angles for this story are deeper than the kid with a gun stories all over the airwaves. Students were keeping up with the story through Web updates. CNN's on the spot reporter was a Va-Tech graduate student with a cell phone camera. This may be the first tragedy brought to you live in grainy YouTube-quality video linked on Facebook.

Sudan has finally agreed to allow U.N. aid workers into the country in a move that is viewed as a potential precursor to a peacekeeping effort. American efforts would most likely be available if they weren't hopelessly quagmired in the Iraq debacle.

Presidential candidates named John are doing everything they can to separate themselves from the crowd by saying and doing stupid things. John McCain still defends guns, even after a South Korean student killed 32 students before he killed himself in Blacksburg. McCain is definitely a few bullets shy of a full clip on gun control...keep your mouth shut, Big Gun. At least he isn't getting multiple $400 haircuts like John "I Feel Pretty" Edwards. When he doesn't make it in Washington, I'm sure Hollywood holds endless potential.

Ohio State was doing their best Ohio University impression when hackers stole the identities of 14,000 employees and 3,500 students. Most identities can be used for ill-gotten gains, but if they got Maurice Clarett's information, they would most likely would get slightly less than the Broncos got by drafting him.

Mother Jones profiled the environmental harm and engineering flaws inherent in Apple iPods. These problems are in addition to the problems they create making oblivious morons to walk in traffic with impunity.

Interesting media stories include the campaign to reform internet radio. The medium may be dying out as the price for royalty fees shot up drastically last year. Great free sites like Pandora will be gradually phased out and replaced by pay-to-play sites. If somebody goes postal because of this, at least you will be able to get video footage at the newly minted Smoking Gun video vault.

In news of the weird, the most popular prophylactic in New York is the official free NYC condoms produced by Lifestyles. The report states that over 5 million lubricated condoms have been used in the back seat of Derek Jeter's limousine this year alone.

Finally, a German military instructor was dismissed after a video of him instructing recruits that they should pretend they were shooting blacks in the Bronx surfaced. People haven't been this upset with the German military since the last time they invaded Poland.