06 June 2007

The Popemobile is Inferior to the Batmobile

Germany shows off its penchant for satire and humor with the G-8 shuffle. Dopey the Dwarf leads the way, suggesting that Germany could be a contender for the title one of the strangest nations on the planet.

The Scooter Libby Pardon fiasco is a tender pimple coming to a head on the face of President Bush. Jessica Simpson recommends Proactiv. Bush is hoping nobody notices this zit amongst all of the other acne exploding on his face.

The Republican debate saw candidates sprinting as away from the president as he is trying to run away from Libby. Most of the G.O.P. is steering away from Bush in a similar fashion to the way in which the Onion demonstrates retired General George Washington opposing the war in Iraq. It is possible that the Onion staff mistook septuagenarian candidate John McCain for Washington.

Representative William Jefferson (D--LA) was indicted on multiple charges of corruption recently. President Bush was excited that somebody not connected with his office was accused of
being moral corrupt.

The Christian Science Monitor goes over the semantics of determining unlawful combatant status at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. This is an interesting avenue to explore, especially since the practices of waterboarding and suspension of habeas corpus probably haven't damaged the United States' reputation enough. Suspension of habeas corpus is probably the only thing that will keep Representative Jefferson from a conviction. Really the only way t
o get an in depth legal analysis on legal protocol is to ask Slate about real legal conundrums, such as why hit men drop their guns at the scene of the crime in mafia dramas. My guess is because if hitmen are involved in the legal system, they typically less likely to be pseudo-drowned and/or pseudo-convicted.

L.A. Times re
porter Megan Stack details the open misogynism that marks Saudi culture, and explains the influence this has on her life at home and abroad. Stack equates her experience in Saudi Arabia to societies segregated by race or other arbitrary guidelines. Saudi Arabia contrasts strongly from Athens, where the arbitrary guidelines succeed in discriminating against athletes regardless of gender in athletic programs. At least that's the party line being defended by Ohio University and its athletics department. Good luck with that one, Hocutt.

The only thing crazier than Title IX leg
islation and its relationship to Islam is the guy who missed the Pope by one row of seats in the Popemobile. No matter what Benedict claims, he is infallible so he would have known the yahoo was going to miss him. Oh the benefits of a spiritually ignorant existence! Germany is bizarre; the case is closed.

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