Ooh la la! If I get to vote in the French election, I'm going socialist party all the way. Segolene Royal is bringing sexy back to socialism after winning an election that puts her in a final run-off that could make her the first female President of France. I'll buy anything she's selling (and even better -- technically socialism will help me pay the bill).
Vodka manufacturers everywhere were saddened to learn of the death of former Russian president Boris Yeltsin. Na zdorovia (or na zdorowie in the correct Polish spelling) to the kind of guy that would have given George Bush quite a run for his money at the Skull and Bones frat house.
Democrat Harry Reid got in a war of words with Vice President Dick Cheney over Iraq policy, where the Nevada senator stated that Bush was in "a state of denial" about Iraq. He's close. Bush is actually hallucinating. In his surreality, we are winning and everything will vindicate these actions in the end.
A soldier testified today that he was ordered to lie about Pat Tillman's death and effectively accused the army of a massive misinformation campaign. If the thought of actively serving in a slowly devolving war zone isn't good enough recruiting incentive, try outright propaganda.
Alex Rodriguez hit two more home runs yesterday in a losing effort, reaching the record (14) for dingers in the month of April with time to spare. In related news, scientists identified a mineral found in Serbia as kryptonite, giving opposing pitchers all the fuel they'll need to get Superman Rodriguez out. (Aside from that, go Bulls. 2-0 is a very comfortable position to be in.)
Finally, the Smoking Gun outed Cho Seung-Hui's E-bay fetish -- Rubber Duckies. Rubber ducky, you're the one. You make insanity lots of fun. If no useful gun regulations spring out of this tragedy, at least it will always be acceptable to mock a guy who bought a gross of yellow rubber birds.
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