O Bronson, my Bronson. My fantasy team will be dead if you don't start pitching and stop rocking out. Write that down and take it to heart.
Everybody is marveling at the perfunctory sophistry displayed by everybody's favorite decider, George W. Bush. Watch him try and tap dance his way out of this interaction in Tipp City, Ohio (the first two minutes are icing, the last three are the cupcake).
At least Alberto Gonzales has found a supporter. Senator Orrin Hatch, J.D. is in the corner of the embroiled Attorney General. When you hear the words "you and Orrin Hatch against everybody else," it typically is not a comforting thought in a street fight or in Congressional testimony. Hatch also might be auditioning for Alberto's job when he hits the unemployment line later this month, waffling between supporting Gonzo and calling the situation with Bert Gonzales "poorly handled." That's a ringing endorsement.
People have produced plays from the texts of Virginia Tech mass murderer Cho Seung-Hui and posted them on YouTube according to an NY-Times article. Going on a killing spree in order to get your work noticed is probably giving Dustin Diamond bad ideas.
Slate goes over the media debate as to what to call World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz's lady love (that's my misogynistic addition to the Web lexicon) Shaha Ali Riza. Girlfriend? Companion? Friend with Benefits? Don Imus would probably call her a ho if they would let him within 50 feet of a microphone.
With the NFL draft fast approaching, the story that three players expected to be amongst the top 10 selections admitted to smoking marijuana in the past was top of the box in headline grabbing. Pot smoking battering ram Ricky Williams is also in the news, with the Rams expressing interest in the sometimes gifted, sometimes spliff-ted running back who is returning from a chronic suspension this season. This league is starting to sound more like Bill Walton's NBA than Dan Marino's NFL. What other news would you expect on April 20?
Alex Rodriguez hits his 12th homer of the season. If he keeps it up at this rate, he should hit 200 home runs this season and make every New York sportswriter eat crow.
Basketball dominates the news now, with my Bulls limping in to face the searing Miami Heat. They are also praying for a miracle that would allow the Knicks to win the draft lottery. Since the Bulls own the Knicks' draft pick this year, picking up Greg Oden would give us a presence down low that would make Chicago a force to reckon with in the East. Unfortunately, it's the 2006-2007 season and not the 2007-2008 season, so the Bulls will have to claw and scratch their way through the playoffs. They'll be lucky to win in the first round, and something tells me Detroit will hurt them in round two.
Finally, check out the SportsCenter commercial entitled "Betrayal." It features David Ortiz from the Red Sox with Jorge Posada from the Yanks, and much hijinks doth ensue.
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