25 April 2007

Just Marking My Territory

It doesn't get any more democratic than the above photograph. If the American public could urinate on all Hillary for President signs and not get arrested, we'd all have a new weekend hobby.

In International news, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert ruled out
(for the time being) a broad offensive against settlers in Gaza after a rocket attack. With Bahrain preparing for an American attack on Iran plus the civil war that's coming to fruition in Iraq, the Middle East is shaping up to become a potential theater of carnage. Hopefully O'Reilly gets a front row seat to cover the action.

In the U.S. is not the only country getting its citizens killed trying to exploit petroleum products after Ethiopian rebels slaughtered 70 people (nine Chinese workers) at a Chinese oil facility. China needs to try the U.S. approach and find a pristine native wilderness to exploit to prevent these problems in the future.

The L.A. Times reports on a split within Iraq's Baath party. As with most other scenarios in Iraq, officials are unsure what to make of the development.

The governor of Virginia is suggesting an executive order that would demand that gun vendors examine the mental health of a person before selling them a gun. The NRA-sponsored Republican explanation for why the loonies should have guns should make for a great sound bite.

The Feds started the trial of the ghetto Unabomber in Chicago. His sketch is less intimidating. He had a job and no crazy manifesto. His target choice was even weak, as he was trying to control stock prices by mailing ready-to-explode explosives that didn't go off. Basically, his career as a domestic terrorist was a complete bomb.

The Dow closed above 13,000 for the first time in history. I'm still a penniless graduate student nit.

Journalist Alan Johnson, the only full-time correspondent in Gaza, has been presumed kidnapped for the last 45 days. In sports news, the Bears offered to trade Lance Briggs as a fair rate exchange.

Scientists announced the discovery of what could be an Earth-like planet orbiting around a dwarf star. It is rumored to be the planet of origin for Sanjaya Malakar.

Finally, the Catholic Church did away with limbo, changing theology to reflect that unbaptized babies go to heaven and not limbo. A few people will, however, remain in limbo.

Baseball limbo: Bobby Valentine, manager, Chiba Lotte Marines

Acting limbo: Corey Feldman and Pauly Shore, alley off of of Hollywood and Vine

Music limbo: The Proclaimers, a different alley in Edinburgh

also: Mariah Carey and Michael Jackson, California state mental health facility

Basketball limbo: Dennis Rodman, in Vegas trying to convince the Maloof brothers he can still play

Media limbo: Don Imus, on his ranch surrounded by caucasians

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