Hey Ladies! Meet Larry.

Today's news starts with the obvious conclusion that poor Senator Larry Craig is not gay. Just listen to the man. He said he is a conservative straight man, no matter what the police found him doing in a men's restroom. Or who he offered to do it to. Or on. Or with. Nothing helps your image as a heterosexual stallion than trolling in the men's room, Larry. That guilty plea won't help your cause either.

The vultures are circling around the carcass of the Attorney General's office, and many are offering up lists of potential candidates before they get to make their flyby in Congress. The purported front runner is Homeland Security boss Michael Chertoff. If anybody is keeping score, Congress might want to call Chertoff to task for lying about his knowledge of torture at Gitmo. If Bush is looking to slip somebody past Capitol Hill, I would recommend nominating famous prosecutor Jack McCoy. He has great credentials, plus he served under Fred Thompson, so he'd tow the party line.

The New York Times finds that, despite their promises, the U.S. has been slow to accept Iraqi refugees displaced by war. Hopefully President Foresight can lend some assistance with the extra $50 billion he's asking the taxpayers to fork over to continue the effort in Iraq. He'd at least be helping somebody.

Ending on a depressing note, the census report identifies nearly 50 million people who are going without health insurance in the United States. This is turning into the hot button topic that candidates will not be able to dodge, the gorilla in the room that is the imperfect American medical system. Relying on private business to tow the line is one step. Making sure that everybody is guaranteed health care no matter their birthright is the next step. Here's to hoping our medical future is less sick than our medical present.

It Was Nice To Have Known You

Finally, they got rid of the bad guy. No, I'm not talking about Michael Vick, although even that speedster couldn't outrun his dogfighting charges. Vick should be congratulated on finding Jesus, albeit after he mistreated and potentially killed a cadre of God's creatures he was entrusted to protect. No, the bad guy in question here is Alberto Gonzales, who finally offered his resignation after much heel dragging ensued. The case against Gonzales was strong. It's a shame that he and Vick won't get an opportunity to be roommates in the Federal Pen.

The American quest to find leadership in Iraq may be taking a turn down familiar streets soon, with former failed leader Iyad Allawi campaigning in Washington to take over for the current failure in leadership Nouri al-Maliki. Most Americans at this point are doing the same, contemplating the possibility of putting former failure Jimmy Carter back in office to stop the bleeding before President Bush II REALLY gets a chance to screw something up.

On the other front in the war on terror, the Taliban has harvested a record crop of opium, making the group the only religious order consisting of equal parts Tony Montana and James Dobson.

The death toll in Greece continues to rise after the county's battle with wildfires, once again illustrating the imminent danger of saganaki.

The battle between sports loyalties and corporate muscle flexing continues to fester with the Big Ten Network and most cable companies "worlds apart" in reaching an agreement that would allow Ohio State fans the pleasure of watching their football team crush powerhouse programs like Youngstown State and Akron on cable television. The quandary could spill over into basketball season as well. Luckily for me, my college football teams are Otterbein, who I will be able to watch on the local cable network as they get throttled by Mount Union 118-6, and Ohio University, who spent most of last season playing on Court TV, meaning that it sucks to be you, Big Ten fans.

Also in sports news, Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs was cited for crashing his $400,000 Lamborghini on the highway and abandoning it there. Good thing he signed that franchised player contract, because I'm sure that the lease office might be more than a little upset receiving their high-performance automobile back in pieces.

Finally, news of the weird crosses the war on drugs in Mexico, where one of the most important pieces in the country's battle with drug smugglers has been replaced by a mutt. Rex IV, the Tim Duncan of drug sniffing dogs, was kidnapped while being shipped off to a mission, and replaced by a mixed breed puppy. I have no idea what happened to poor Rexy, but if I had to guess, I'd say somebody borrowed him to perform some additional evidence searches at Owen Wilson's pad. Don't quote me on that, however.

237 Reasons to Support Nuclear Power and Hillary Clinton

If you thought that lawmakers in Washington were glowing over their accomplishments last week, you might not have thought a raise in their exposure to radiation was responsible for their warm glow. A one sentence provision in a recently passed energy bill drastically increases funding for new nuclear power projects in the U.S. It seemed like nuclear power was already doing quite well, especially after the successful weekend "The Simpsons" film had at the box office. Montgomery Burns, it appears, should make out well on all fronts.

The Huffington Post has identified the newest beam of support for the White House case for a continued presence in Iraq...General David Petraeus. The good general is expected to issue a report on the situation in Iraq that addresses some of the shortcomings of the last few months worth of fighting the war on terror in Iraq while at the same time praising the results of the surge. This comes on the heels of a report given by the NYTimes that identified a U.S. intention to keep troop numbers up in Iraq through 2009. If this report were a musical, Petraeus would be singing "Cockeyed Optimist" while Bush and Cheney offer a duet of "The Song that Never Ends" with the word "war" superimposed in the places where "song" would be sung.

Ex Khmer Rouge prison chief Duch is the first of many expected to be tried for human rights abuses that occurred in Cambodia in the 1970s. While Pol Pot escaped the harsh punishment his actions deserved through death, at least the long-suffering victims will get a chance to see a few of his more notorious minions pan fried.

Chief Justice John Roberts recovered quickly after he had an unexplained seizure that sent him to the hospital. I'm not a doctor, but I'd blame the episode on Roberts standing within five miles of Alberto "It's Good to Have Known You" Gonzales' testimony in Congress. That logic could make concrete have a grand mal seizure.

Hootan Roozrokh has become what is believed to be the nation's first doctor charged with a felony for his role in a transplant. The transplant surgeon is accused of using drugs to hasten the demise of a patient in order to harvest his organs sooner. Dr. Roozrohk may also have become the first organ transplant surgeon in the United States to succeed in making people feel suspicious of a service that is meant to save their lives. You can bet that Doctor Demented will not be appearing in any of next year's public service announcements about organ transplantation.

Morbid coverage continues with the story of the death of the architect of the west coast offense Bill Walsh. Walsh, winner of three Super Bowls as coach of the San Francisco 49ers, died of leukemia at the age of 75. As a Bears fan, little pleased me quite as much as the stifling defense in 1985 coupled with the debut of the William Perry wrecking ball from the backfield, crushing your well oiled machine at Candlestick Park 26-10. But football wouldn't be like it is today without you, regardless of what team you coached. You were a great foe, and an even better friend to the game.

Chelsea Clinton is aiming to be the first two-time First Daughter with Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail. I'd prefer that Obama and his relatives inherit all of the First titles, but I'll take Chelsea Part Deux along with the Hillary in Charge show on the following, non-negotiable conditions:

A). I get to hang out at a bar two Saturdays a month on the Georgetown campus with Bill Clinton, canoodeling and cavorting the night away. I can crash in the Lincoln Bedroom afterward. B). I am given permission to misuse executive authority against Brett Favre in any way I see fit. C). Chelsea Clinton at least gives me some serious consideration as the future First Son-In-Law. If I achieve the rank of First Son-in-Law, I can crash in the Lincoln Bedroom whenever I have the need. And I can call Hillary mom. It's a small list of demands to get me into the fold. Like the Timberwolves, you'd probably better take the offer when it's on the table.

Finally, in the crazy news department, University of Texas researchers came up with 237 reasons why people have sex. They left off a couple of my favorites ("to celebrate the Bears going to the Super Bowl" and "it was either that or watching another episode of The O'Reilly Factor") while proving that no research is worthless so long as it gets you a news brief next to the story about Britney Spears' latest public foibles.

He Shoots...he scores!

These are two words that seldom run together in a news story--Iraq and success. But those two words perfectly described the Iraqi soccer team and its 1-0 victory over Saudi Arabia in the Asian Cup championship match. President Bush will probably be remembered as the George Steinbrenner of Iraqi soccer. In order to keep the good news in check, celebrating soccer fans in Baghdad partied away with explosions of gun fire that killed two and wounded 40.

The White House is planning on asking Congress to pay for all sorts of weaponry. They will send the things that go boom to Saudi Arabia to soften the blow of their crushing soccer defeat. The policy also will arm Israel to the teeth as part of the overall platformed plan of mutual assured destruction as diplomacy in the Middle East. Pow--to the moon, Abbas!

The major sticking point in our domestic spying program turned out to be data mining in the continuing Alberto Gonzales headache on Capital Hill. Congress is turning the screws on the embattled Attorney General. Chances are, his defense will be one of the following: A). Gonzales will forget about the data mining. B). He'll claim executive privilege for the judicial branch. C). Dick Cheney will dissolve the legislative branch so that Gonzales doesn't have to answer any more of these pesky questions.

The Taliban in Afghanistan is threatening to kill the 22 South Korean hostages they have captured if specific prisoners the Taliban leaders have named are not released. The Taliban brass has given a deadline of Monday for the swap. Hostage negotiators countered the proposal with an offer of an even exchange of Michael Vick for the hostages in order to minimize casualties in addition to improving the lives of Home Depot and the Falcons' public relations staff.

Scientists has identified a way to generate stem cells that don't harm embryos. This will still be opposed by Bush's shortsighted stem cell policy based upon the idea that Bush hates people with Parkinson's, diabetes and organ failure, but loves aborted baby goop. It should take Bush and his folk scientists two minutes to dismiss the potentially lifesaving developments.

It is getting difficult to argue with a White House that refuses to release recommendations by the Surgeon General because the language wasn't politicized enough. That track record coupled with the current Iraq debacle makes it difficult to imagine anybody, even a group of scientists, that could break the momentum of the Oval Office and its active campaign of disinformation and reactionary policies. Hopefully somebody finds a way around the Bush built blockade.

Three Yards and a Cloud of Trust

If politics were John Madden Football, Bush just asked Madden, and Madden called executive privilege. There is no way he called that play on his own.

To continue the football metaphors, it now appears that the offensive line is off the field and Bush is running the Iraq policy unprotected. That doesn't differ greatly from the support Bush is giving the troops in Iraq who yesterday were profiled traveling four precarious miles to get to a memorial for a fallen soldier who they had served alongside. With this kind of support, it won't be long before somebody sacks the Quarterback-in-Chief.

A Congressional report released today states that the White House failure to fill posts at the Department of Homeland Security leaves the nation vulnerable to terrorist threats and disaster. Homeland Security and FEMA did so well in New Orleans, it's hard to imagine their performance in a less prepared situation.

Mother Jones is calling the Impeach Cheney-mania a little overblown. The high crimes and misdemeanors might be a high bar to clear. The public doesn't care whether he'll be impeached. They just want to see somebody twist in the wind.

Tunnels are being dug near a nuclear facility in Iran, and people are getting a little nervous. Their president swears the developments are for peaceful energy. It is hard to believe Mahmoud Ahmadinejad about peaceful energy after his call to have Israel wiped off the map.

The Red Mosque siege is expected to see negotiations start Monday. Pervez Musharraf can impress the militants by showing them the promising first half of a report on foreign investment in Pakistan by the Christian Science Monitor. Just don't show them the catastrophic effects the investments are having on the poor in the second part of the article.

Iowa has caught up with the rest of the country and they are ready for the election to move the election up to tomorrow. I am currently listening to the sounds of the world's smallest violin playing just for the residents of Iowa and New Hampshire.

Anybody who criticizes the pile of projects that make up the Google corporation obviously has never discovered a new class of Chinese nuclear sub with expanded ballistic missile capabilities on Google Earth. I also lost the cap off my flash drive at Alden Library last weekend. If somebody sees it on Google Earth, give me a call.

Media news involves Congress possibly creating a fairness doctrine for the conservative talk-heavy radio waves. It might be a good business move. I'd listen to Rush Limbaugh if it was a Hannity and Colmes setup with Rush and Al Franken. Since radio has no interest in what I want, I listen to satellite.

In reaction to the billion dollar Xbox 360 recall, Playstation has dropped the price of its systems $100 each in order to hit Microsoft while they're down. The only thing working against them is that you still will need to take out a home equity loan to afford the games and the newly-discounted system.

Finally, the 11-year old girl charged with drunk driving qualifies her as somebody whose parents should have bought her a discounted Playstation to kill time.I put my vote in for the Not the Parent of the Year Award.

Every Little Thing You Do Is Tragic

Photo by Christopher Berkey/NYTimes

The stench has dissipated from Manchester, Tenn. now that the yearly musical cornucopia of Bonnaroo has wrapped up. This festival offers acts from across the musical spectrum as opposed to consisting of Trey, Dave and their lackey offspring. Some acts are great, while relying on Tool and the Police as the headliners is questionable at best and pathetically reminiscent memories of way-back-when at worst. Blogs and news outlets were all over this as these links show. Rather than express my distaste for mega-festivals and their destruction of local and regional music scenes, I'll let the Web links speak about something else.


Apparently Alberto Gonzales and the White House (along with their primitive understanding of the inner workings of the legal system) are screwing themselves in court with their controversial firing of eight judges. At least somebody is paying the price for what seemed like political suicide six weeks ago.


More bad news is coming from Walter Reed. The mental care in the military is as bad as the other care, suffering from the shortsightedness of both the White House and the Legislature. By 2008, the veterans of the conflict alongside everybody else are going to need mental care after listening to eight years of Bush rhetoric coupled with two years of Democratic excuses.

Separatist rebels in Ethiopia are criticizing the tactics of the much larger Army. It sounds much like the Tampa Bay Devil Rays fans complain about how the Yankees keep winning.

The United States has taken pollution to the next level. Now, instead of merely producing pollution domestically and spreading it around the world the old fashioned way, smelters are producing voluminous quantities of lead to poison the local population in Peru. The United States has proven that if we can't offend you one way, we'll find something to irritate you eventually.

Kobe Bryant has announced on his blog that he wants to be traded. He announced this after he announced that he was staying after he announced he wanted to be traded after he announced he was staying in basketball after he announced was going to become a vegan chef in Malibu after he announced he was going to become a documentary film maker after he announced he wanted to be traded.

A 111-year-old Japanese man credits his longevity to steering clear of alcohol. Apparently the world's oldest man never got an opportunity to check the research literature.

Elvis Presley, a man who lived the opposite of a teetotaler's life, had his gun and prescription medicines auctioned off in Beverly Hills. Apparently the definition of what qualifies as memorabilia is All Shook Up. Elvis did enough drugs to wind up in a Jailhouse Rock. I would have a Suspicious Mind to look into the validity of Elvis' prescription meds.

Smile When You're Down

No matter how bad the circumstances (being arrested), nor how atrocious the haircut (killer mullet, dude), it's always good to be able to smile in times of adversity. Smile on while the blog dishes out the skinny on a world full of adversity.

Slate leads with deeper analysis of testimony by Monica Goodling. The Slate take is that Goodling handled herself well in testimony in front of a mob of bloodthirsty lawyers and made both parties look like buffoons. It's amazing when an inexperienced young lawyer does a better job in a legal quandary than does Alberto "Convenient Amnesia" Gonzales, the highest ranking attorney in the land.

Despite all the wrangling in Congress, Americans are strongly behind the proposed immigration reform that currently sits before your local Representatives and Senator. Based upon the waning (if non-existent) support for the war in Iraq coupled with continuing government incompetence, expect the legislation to be shot down.

Every college and high school kid on the planet should be excited by the new customizable options that are expected to be allowed for inclusion at the social networking site Facebook. Now, instead of wasting 14 hours a day blathering on about how they hate their economics teacher, discussing how sweet their significant other is and announcing their weekend plans in a static, pre-determined social network, users will be able to blather on about how they hate their economics teacher, discuss how sweet their significant other is and announce their weekend plans in a user-generated social network. How refreshing!

One of the stranger stories of the day hands down is the Village Voice story about eco-bar Habana Outpost. Apparently, according to the pictures and the story, people help save the environment by wearing nipple slips and smoking cigarettes. NYC is trend-setting in the love of fads that are so ironic that few people realize how ridiculous they really are. I'd go at least once.

I'll finish with another piece in Slate that detailed how federal prosecutors estimated the value of an enormous drug bust. This tool may also be valuable in calculating the price of Jason Giambi's speed habit.

Baywatch: Hasselhoff's Bathroom

Fireballer Roger Clemens got hammered as part of his minor league rescue mission before his rendezvous with the struggling Yankees. This column will attempt to hammer the news like a fat Clemens fastball straight down the pipe.

Former top Justice Department Aide Monica Goodling dropped a bomb on Alberto "I Don't Know" Gonzales' suggestion that firing the employees was not based upon partisan concerns. Hopefully when America fires Gonzales, he won't know where to find gainful employment.

Probably Gonzales' only chance at working again would come from participating in the proposed new immigration legislation and deporting himself back to whichever planet he dropped in from. Figures estimate the country will need more workers, but the plan doesn't deal with the economic impact of deporting 12 million people. If nothing else, more volunteers will be needed for the new troop surge, so this immigration policy would help to continue our policy of hiring people to do the work that the rest of the country is too lazy to do.

Iranian President/Middle Eastern Class Clown Mahmoud Ahmadinejad keeps on defying the world by continuing the development of Iran's nuclear weapons program. In as little as three years, Iran might possess the bomb in a move that could be the scariest thing to hit the news wires since video of a drunken, disheveled David Hasselhoff eating a hamburger shirtless on his floor surfaced.

Citizens are streaming out of Lebanon in droves as the Lebanese army and Fatah al-Islam militants prepare to halt a two day cease fire. In terms of understanding how these players fit into the fabric of the region, picture Fatah al-Islam as a devoutly religious Vern Troyer, imagine the Lebanese army as the tortured hit man Joe Pesci sent to shut down a trouble maker, and think of Israel as the eager champion Chuck Liddell waiting to step into the ring and pick up the pieces (and beat some brains in) when all is said and done.

In media news, gossip blogger Perez Hilton is going to court to defend fair use provisions from photographs he uses as part of his continuous parody of the ridiculous celebrity lifestyle. If Hilton gets shut down, where else would America find out about whether Lindsay Lohan or Kate Moss snorted more blow in a given weekend? Freedom of the Press means freedom to know when Britney Spears is wearing panties, so hopefully the courts side with Hilton (or Mario Lavandeira, his real name) and his tireless pursuit of democratic values.

Finally, in the department of stories to weird to make up comes the story about soccer officials in Qatar seeking to hire thousands of fans to root for the team in the Asia Cup in Vietnam. If the Seattle Supersonics aren't confident that their situation will improve after the draft lottery, they could try filling the stands with professional fans to create the illusion of interest in sports on the left coast. Also, a man in Egypt was arrested for attempting to smuggle 700 snakes on a flight to Saudi Arabia. Flight official Samuel L. Jackson told the man before arresting him, "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane."

Oh Give Me a Home

Fantasy is a wonderful thing when it nets paintings of the cowboy President in full repose. The wild west war on terrorism news includes Congress setting a deadline for Iraq withdrawl (which will be vetoed), the U.N. accusing Iraq of downplaying death counts, the U.S. charging a detainee in Guantanamo who was arrested at the age of 15 (which should make his trial interesting as the government is suggesting these detainees have too many lawyers), an officer being charged with aiding the enemy in Iraq and the only source for information from the Middle East The Onion saying the story about the region was blah blah blah flap flap flap. At least the President has time to cut a rug.


Oh how the noose is tightening for poor Alberto Gonzales. When it rains it pours, Bertie. Don't pout...the Dow closed above 13,000 last night, so the market should be clamoring for people with your experience.

On the world is coming to an end front, scientists have preliminarily identified a fungus that may be causing bee populations to wane dramatically this year. The death of bees would be the end of pollination, and eventually the end of anything that survived from plant products. If they eliminate bees with said fungus, it will be bad for my long term prospects but comforting on my lifelong phobia of stinging insects.

Media and entertainment ranked as the two most untrustworthy careers in a recent survey. Entertainment journalists returned to their evil lairs to lurk out and plan potential catastrophes on the population that painted them into this corner.

At&t is offering the entire Coachella concert on a Web access dealie-o. If I was sitting in front of a computer with nothing better to do (which I seldom am), I'd be in!

Finally, I will give you three nouns, and you will follow the link to the connector: a drunk German, a horse and an ATM.

Cooking Up a Funky Slab of Soul with Bronson Arroyo

O Bronson, my Bronson. My fantasy team will be dead if you don't start pitching and stop rocking out. Write that down and take it to heart.

Everybody is marveling at the perfunctory sophistry displayed by everybody's favorite decider, George W. Bush. Watch him try and tap dance his way out of this interaction in Tipp City, Ohio (the first two minutes are icing, the last three are the cupcake).



At least Alberto Gonzales has found a supporter. Senator Orrin Hatch, J.D. is in the corner of the embroiled Attorney General. When you hear the words "you and Orrin Hatch against everybody else," it typically is not a comforting thought in a street fight or in Congressional testimony. Hatch also might be auditioning for Alberto's job when he hits the unemployment line later this month, waffling between supporting Gonzo and calling the situation with Bert Gonzales "poorly handled." That's a ringing endorsement.

People have produced plays from the texts of Virginia Tech mass murderer Cho Seung-Hui and posted them on YouTube according to an NY-Times article. Going on a killing spree in order to get your work noticed is probably giving Dustin Diamond bad ideas.

Slate goes over the media debate as to what to call World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz's lady love (that's my misogynistic addition to the Web lexicon) Shaha Ali Riza. Girlfriend? Companion? Friend with Benefits? Don Imus would probably call her a ho if they would let him within 50 feet of a microphone.

With the NFL draft fast approaching, the story that three players expected to be amongst the top 10 selections admitted to smoking marijuana in the past was top of the box in headline grabbing. Pot smoking battering ram Ricky Williams is also in the news, with the Rams expressing interest in the sometimes gifted, sometimes spliff-ted running back who is returning from a chronic suspension this season. This league is starting to sound more like Bill Walton's NBA than Dan Marino's NFL. What other news would you expect on April 20?

Alex Rodriguez hits his 12th homer of the season. If he keeps it up at this rate, he should hit 200 home runs this season and make every New York sportswriter eat crow.

Basketball dominates the news now, with my Bulls limping in to face the searing Miami Heat. They are also praying for a miracle that would allow the Knicks to win the draft lottery. Since the Bulls own the Knicks' draft pick this year, picking up Greg Oden would give us a presence down low that would make Chicago a force to reckon with in the East. Unfortunately, it's the 2006-2007 season and not the 2007-2008 season, so the Bulls will have to claw and scratch their way through the playoffs. They'll be lucky to win in the first round, and something tells me Detroit will hurt them in round two.

Finally, check out the SportsCenter commercial entitled "Betrayal." It features David Ortiz from the Red Sox with Jorge Posada from the Yanks, and much hijinks doth ensue.

Love You 42 Times

Monday means it's time to play ball. While it's still in play, I would like to extend my hand to any living relative of Jackie Robinson and offer you the opportunity to bat one through nine in the Cubs lineup this spring. Make sure you bring a glove.

The story du jour is everybody's favorite tabloid topic -- school shootings. The Va Tech shooting left 33 dead in a tragic event that raised the casualty bar from previous shootings in Colorado and Texas. This storyline surfaces once every few years, and people blame gun control, religion, video games and/or any other blame peg to hang their pseudo-psychological arguments on. When the report was Virginia Tech, the only broken figure that would be capable of such a thing that easily came to mind was Marcus Vick based upon his previous record in Blacksburg, but those reports were not the case.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is expected to admit that he screwed up in the firing of U.S. attorneys in front of an attentive Congressional audience. He is also expected to tow the party line and explain that the firings were NOT politically motivated but the orders did come from the White House. It doesn't take a pencil to connect the dots, and even if you connected the dots, the outline would be a giant, steaming pile of horse manure.

Jose Padilla goes on trial this week after five years in solitary confinement without charges being filed. After all of the torture and Constitutional tango described in an L.A. Times article, the former Chicago gang member will face reduced charges. This is the smoke-and-mirrors proof that USAPATRIOT Act is working for...somebody other than Jose, apparently.

The NY Times features a story on illegal immigrants filing tax returns before the impending deadline, which should be helpful information for Roger Federer and Zinedine Zidane if they forgot their green cards. It should be on Bill O'Reilly's talking points like yesterday.

Sports Sunday celebrated Jackie Robinson's breaking of the color barrier with memorials around the country and 14 hours of prerecorded features that covered up for the dearth of footage based on multiple rain outs. Chicago also won the competition to be the American bid for the 2016, proving for the fiftieth time why Chicago is great and Los Angeles is a pit.

In another tragic loss to the creative community, New York free jazz spot Tonic closed its doors for good Friday after a pile of musicians including John Zorn, Marc Ribot, DJ Spinoza and Matthew Shipp were among the many played through the wreckers coming in to tear the club down. Places like this need to exist so that real art can be produced, the kind that isn't designed by boardrooms full of M.B.A.s, lawyers and pimps but rather by dynamic, organically realized music that is new and stretches your imagination to places that it couldn't conceptualize over and over, finding music that speaks to you without words. Great music so rarely happens in Madison Square Garden but is always happening in little out of the way places like the Hideout (great shows this Tuesday, Friday and Saturday)and Elastic (great shows this Tuesday and Thursday), and these shows require support from crowds more so than do the big venues and the A&R man driving the Mercedes S-Class. (I'm jumping down from the soap box now, but please please support independent music. Ornette Coleman just won a Pulitzer for music, so I do have some hope.)

Finally, Hawaiian music legend Don Ho died over the weekend. Put on your favorite loud shirt and sing along to some of the favorites in memoriam.