14 September 2007

O.J. Sucks at Crime (Allegedly)

He's ba-ack! The Juice just couldn't stay out of the headlines. Years after his famous murder trial, O.J. Simpson has been questioned about a break-in and theft of sports memorabilia in a Los Vegas casino. If he did it, the law might finally squeeze the last pulp out of the Juice.

Another case has had a verdict rendered...Bush is staying in Iraq. The Nation offered an analysis of the war on terror, calling the current Bush policy illegal, immoral and misdirected.You can only hope that somebody in Congress will finally step up to the plate and take a swing at smashing this policy over the Green Monster that is the White House stubborn streak. I pick Kucinich because he would look the funniest rounding the bases (and also because his vegan diet allows him to swing a sweet stick).

On the indefinite detention in the war on terror front, the Pentagon censored an audio recording of 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, believing that the material could be used as recruiting material in the YouTube world. This is probably a bad move. Everybody remembers how big 2 Live Crew got after the government tried to censor them. The U.S. doesn't want Osama bin Laden to achieve Luther Campbell status. Everybody would be out buying the album!

I just can't get enough of the Presidential mashup. It was referenced here yesterday, and you can put together your own debate, choosing any or all of the Democratic candidates to answer questions within a set time frame on Iraq, health care, education or a random jab by comedian Bill Maher. Web 2.0 candidate Barack Obama leads the poll so far with 36 percent choosing him as the winner over runner-up Hillary Clinton (32 percent). Eddie the Ambulance Chaser finished a distant third as of press time. The technology in these debates is still developing. Hopefully in a few years we'll be able to ask candidates like Mike Gravel directly if they really, truly believe they have a chance at winning or if campaigning is just a hobby of theirs.

Also on the subject of Bill Maher, he posted a blog entry about those he calls 24 Hour Republican Party People. On the heels of the national sex scandals plaguing the G.O.P. comes the story of the St. Petersburg City Council Chairman committing suicide after allegations arose that he sexually abused three young girls, two of whom were his adopted daughters. The Republican party is just one giant George Michael scandal followed by a night out with Charlie Sheen, ending with confession at a Catholic church.

Concertgoers interested in how their city stacks up against the competition can compare notes in the University of Chicago study that compares music markets. If they were counting, Ohio would probably finish in last place.

The sports jury is in: Bill Belichick's punishment wasn't harsh enough. Belichick, the hooded sweatshirt-clad 007 of NFL head coaches, has to fork over $500,000 for video taping the Jets sideline, while the team loses a quarter of a million dollars and a 1st round pick if they make the playoffs or a 2nd and 3rd round pick if they don't. The Chargers think that Brady and Moss should be euthanized in order to make things fair. The Jets want a penalty more like the McLaren automobile fine. I suggest an even greater punishment--make Lloyd Carr the Patriots coach during a four game suspension to be served by the hooded hoodwink Belichick.

A Hilliard Davidson high school student had his punishment reduced for his role in a prank passing out signs to a section occupied by the rival team's fans at the football stadium that spelled out, "We Suck" when they were held up in unison during the third quarter. The other high school's fans should also have been punished for sucking at common sense.

Finally, if you don't think that people waste enough time watching television or using social networking sites, somebody had the common sense to combine the two endeavors. OMG my top friend is that guy from the MySpace show. Somebody shoot me now.

No comments: