13 September 2007

Slam Dunk News Day

Big man Greg Oden may be done for the season after he had microfracture surgery on his knee. The first pick in the draft should have plenty of time left to work on his dance moves with the women of Portland while the team is traveling and playing basketball games.

What would the day's news be without a pile of Iraq reports? The Dems are trying to attract moderate Republicans to join the Anti-War efforts in order to prevent a filibuster. A compromise passed regarding oil in Iraq has collapsed. Reports about the deaths of the soldiers who authored a piece that was critical of the military efforts in Iraq continue to pour in. A key U.S. ally in Iraq was killed today by a bomb planted outside his house. The best possible option for the country would be to allow Iraq to be governed by a reality television show where viewers in the country could vote on what steps should be taken next in the glorious enterprise that is democracy. That is, if they can get enough electricity to run "Iraqi Idol."

In other parts of the Middle East, tensions are flaring in Syria after Israel's air strike on mysterious targets within Syrian borders. The strikes were thought to be on nuclear targets. Both sides are tense, and whatever happened, at least the efforts didn't involve a bomb that was as big as the Cleveland Browns performance against Pittsburgh on Sunday.

The presidential debate has gone Web 2.0, with Democratic candidates communicating with the voting public in an online forum that goes by the name of the Presidential mashup. Each candidate offers their views on a series of predetermined questions, and then a few questions are generated by the audience. I'm into the health care issue, and nobody with a real chance of winning has a working plan for guaranteeing health care for all that addresses the issues I'm interested in. Until Hillary quits taking money from the insurance lobby, I'm still supporting somebody else.

Finally, vegetarianism is good for the environment. Scientists have determined that meat production is a significant contributor to global warming. Just keep eating your steaks, Earth killer. You should be able to chase your favorite piece of carcass down with a heaping helping of methane gas. Mmm mmm. Tastes like the apocalypse.

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