New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival

The New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival is a two week event in late April and early May that celebrates the music, food and cultural heritage of the Crescent City.

You expect the music to be great (see the calendar for details). The bonus is that the fest also has scores of vegetarian dining options conveniently marked by an asterisk for your meatless dining convenience.

Much like New Orleans, the food at Jazz Fest is a melting pot. There is Cajun fare and Creole cooking in addition to food from other parts of the U.S., Italy, the Mediterranean, the Caribbean and Japan. Most of the vendors are from the New Orleans area.

Jazz Fest provides a tremendous opportunity to try a little bit of everything in the Big Easy. When paired with a great soundtrack, it's a winning combination.

Red beans and rice is about as New Orleans as a dish can get. It's at least as New Orleans as gumbo, jambalaya, andouille sausage, muffulettas and po' boys. Unfortunately, carnivores often up the flavor of their R-B-R with ham hocks, sausage or bacon. Luckily, Burks & Douglas prepares a vegetarian red beans and rice that packs all of the flavor with none of the guilt.

Ya ka mein (pronounced yock-uh-mean) is a dish of indeterminate origins with a flavor that is 100 percent New Orleans. Ostensibly, ya ka mein was introduced to New Orleans by Chinese port workers, and it was later adopted by the African American community. It is sometimes called old sober because it is utilized as a hangover cure. Miss Linda's catering makes a vegetarian ya ka mein (ya ka mein is typically a beef soup). Vegans be warned: it does contain a hard boiled egg. The hot soup has a mushroom broth base turned up by soy sauce and hot sauce, then filled with spaghetti noodles, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, scallions and of course the hard boiled egg. You don't have to know who created ya ka mein to know that this one tastes delicious.

Bennachin is an African restaurant in New Orleans that specializes in the cuisine of Cameroon and Gambia. The vegetarian combo plate that they serve comes with jama jama (sauteed spinach) and fried plantains. The spinach is prepared with onions, garlic and hot peppers. It is soft and satisfying. The plantains are soft and thickly breaded. The savory spinach pairs well with the sweet plantains.

Mona's Cafe is a small Mediterranean chain in New Orleans. Like most Mediterranean places, Mona's features many vegetarian choices. The combo platter comes with falafel, hummus, tabouli and a Greek salad. While the food was tasty, it was definitely a pain to eat salad at Jazz Fest while the sand and wind are whipping you in the face. Unlike myself, I would recommend taking shelter before engaging this dish or you will end up coating yourself and those who surround you with lettuce, dressing and feta cheese.

DiMartino's Muffuletta's makes a vegetarian muffuletta that is absolutely killer. The thick, sesame seed sandwich roll is stuffed with Swiss cheese and covered in an olive salad with red peppers, yellow peppers, mushrooms, green olives, spices and olive oil. Flavor explodes from the olive salad, and it's so good that there are no condiments required.

One of the other New Orleans specialties that was on display at Jazz Fest was the Snoball. If you ask for a Snow cone, a vendor will assume that you are a stupid Yankee and spit in your dessert. Plum Street Snoballs had stands set up all around Jazz Fest. I sampled the chocolate snoball with an extra dollop of condensed milk, which adds both sweetness and richness. It is a great cure for the blazing hot sun (or whatever else ails you).

There were many other vegetarian eats available at the fest that I didn't get a chance to sample. Other options include fried green tomatoes, corn on the cob, spinach artichoke casserole, fried eggplant in marinara, broccoli cheese pie, seaweed salad, Tunisian salad, Jamaican steamed vegetables, grilled veggie pitas and gelato from La Divina Gelateria.

I will have to wait for another time and another forum to extol the music I saw at Jazz Fest. You can see some of the music I caught in the slide show below. However, the food alone makes the Jazz and Heritage Festival a destination all by itself.

Jazz Fest

Carabar

Carabar is a cool independent music venue/bar/restaurant in Downtown Columbus. The kitchen (called the Helen Killer) features a great deal of vegetarian comfort food options that pair well with the great draft beers and the entertainment.

The backbone of the menu is hot dogs. There are vegetarian hot dogs available with toppings including vegan chili, sauerkraut, onions and condiments including ketchup, mustard and a stadium full of hot sauces. I actually ordered the vegan chili sans hot dog.

The chalk board menu doesn't list everything that the kitchen offers. It was recommended that I order a falafel hummus wrap. It might not have been on the Hellen Killer chalk board, but it was delicious enough to keep on the little chalk board menu in my head. Flattened falafel patties are pressed into a pita slathered in hummus on top of a bed of lettuce and tomatoes in a perfect base of tahini and hot sauce. It is as good of a falafel sandwich I've had outside of On the Fly.

There is a full service bar at Carabar. If you're drinking, however, Carabar definitely specializes in the brewing arts. The draft beer selection included Great Lakes Blackout Stout and Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA. Prices are low, and they offer some steep discounts during Happy Hour.

The bad news about Carabar is that the current location will be kaput when the 70/71 reconstruction begins. The local community supports the place and hopes that it takes up root elsewhere. Luckily the move has been pushed back until about 2012, so enjoy there's a little more time to enjoy the Carabar experience.

Carabar

Travis Barker is a quitter

If his reality show and sophomoric music weren't enough to convince you that Travis Barker is a tool, the latest gossip about Travis going back to eating meat after 25 years as a vegetarian in order to treat his severe burns will definitely allow your prejudicial labeling mechanism to place Mr. Barker squarely in the "doofus" box. I'm not a nutritionist, Travis, but 1 gram of soy protein is the same amount as 1 gram of dead animal protein. It's like the quandary of weight: which is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? I'm sure your dietician knew the answer to that riddle. He also knew you wouldn't be able to figure it out for yourself.

Die Hippie, Die!

It's official--U2 is managed by Eric Cartman.

Actually, that isn't true. The cultural dinosaurs, following on the heels of their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, are actually managed by a relic named Paul McGuiness. U2's manager delivered a scathing diatribe at the Midem Music Conference in Cannes about the state of the music industry.

In his rant, McGuiness demonstrated how he has his finger directly on the cultural pulse of the world by blaming hippies for the downfall of the music industry. With management like that, U2 should keep putting out shit music and receiving unbelievable adulation for their sorry efforts for years to come.

McGuiness is (more so than the hippies) a symptom of a music industry that is so out of touch with its audience that it no longer can conceptualize how to reach them. Reality talent farms like "American Idol" and the newest junket into the genre "Gone Country", where CMT tries to recycle has-beens like Bobby Brown and Dee Snider into country music superstars, are another symptom of how those in charge of the business blame their problems on everybody BUT themselves.

And Mr. McGuiness, do you blame the old Grateful Dead-era hippies, or the newfangled Yonder Mountain String Band hippies for the shortages in your music revenue? Whoever the culprit is, I'm sure this helps explain how Sting and his merry band of hippies The Police were the highest grossing touring band of the year, even topping the second place Rolling Stones (the band that is credited with ending the 1960s, by the way).

Maybe U2 should hire Thom York from Radiohead to manage all their future projects. Radiohead still seems to sell pretty well, even with all of their hippie album releases. Plus, unlike Paul McGuiness, Radiohead started their music career in the 20th century, which puts Radiohead 90 or 100 years ahead of the McGuiness and his reactionary philosophy.

Whatever the case may be, hopefully McGuiness is seen for exactly what he really is...an out of touch relic from a bygone era of music. Peace and love to you Paulie McG...best of luck in your antique endeavors, and leave the music business to those who can use counterculture terminology that comes after the year 1987.

Mountain Goats with Bowerbirds

Last night, the hottest ticket in the Ohio area (imho) was not in Cleveland. It wasn't in Columbus. It wasn't in Cincinnati, nor was it even in the Buckeye state. It was in fact across the river from the Queen City. Nestled amongst the drinking halls and strip clubs in Covington, Kentucky, the twin bill of the Mountain Goats and John Darnielle's favorite band the Bowerbirds was in fact the coolest show on a Tuesday night.

I have seen the Goats (or the Goat) play many times in many forms. I caught a set with thousands at the 2006 Pitchfork festival. I saw them perform in the intimate Union in Athens. The Mad Hatter in Covington, where last night's show was, is a bit larger than the Union, with slightly better sight lines, and it is far more intimate than the outdoor ambiance of Pitchfork.

Bowerbirds were better than advertised. The folky three piece featured Beth Tacular on accordion and bass drum, Mark Paulson on violin and bass drum, and Phil Moore on guitar. All three sing, with Paulson deferring to Tacular and Moore's more frequent leads.

The group harmonizes beautifully, and their indie-folk stylings should really be getting more attention than they do. Imagine Peter, Paul and Mary crossed with an organic, rock-driven polka with a Calexico-tinged bluegrass vein and you'd be rolling down the correct alley.

The Mountain Goats set was brisk, featuring many numbers from the latest two albums as well as many numbers from the older catalog. This group was a trio, unlike the more common solo or duo version of the Goats. The set was 75 minutes tops including the encore. It seemed like the audience was hungry for another set, or at least a few more tunes, but what are you gonna do? John seemed to be a little irked by all the video and photo coverage (Blame Pitchfork coverage, not me, bud...I've been on board for the long haul).

The banter was the classic dry Darnielle delivery. The audience had a few of the classic dim wits who always call out for their favorite numbers from their billy goat log, and John gave his typical annoyed response to the repeated calls for numbers not on the planned set list. Hopefully they'll learn. This was the only complaint I had about the crowd that came out to see the greatest vegetarian songwriter this side of Paul McCartney.

The set was solid, but certainly not the best batch of Mountain Goats I've ever seen. The albums are absolutely magnificent, showcasing Darnielle's penchant for writing clever tales about himself or fictional characters that go through more terror or laughter in a given day than others experience in a lifetime. But at the show, he seemed preoccupied with something that kept him off his A game.

However, the concert did have some great moments. The performance from Bowerbirds was great, and even a B+ Goats show beats an A+ show by most other artists any day. Darnielle is a dynamic performer whose live act trumps the studio product. Unfortunately, sometimes his live performance suffers from the bipolar nature of his complicated personality.

I'll load up some of my video later. I'll list some clips below, including a great full version of "This Year." Also be sure to check out the pictures.

• Bowerbirds clip
• Mountain Goats--Love Love Love
• Mountain Goats--Zopilote Machine
• Mountain Goats--Dance Music
• Mountain Goats--This Year (very good!)
• Mountain Goats--Encore entry
• Mountain Goats--Houseguest 1
• Mountain Goats--Houseguest 2

Mountain Goats

Ween--Lifestyles Community Pavilion

The Boognish was unleashed upon the 614 last night when Ween brought the traveling circus to Lifestyles Community Pavilion.

The show, while not one of Ween's best, featured a mix of their old favorites and the tracks from the latest album "La Cucaracha," which was released Tuesday.

Ween still plays an entertaining live show, and the latest tour was no different.

The newest album has a few tracks that are winners. This year, I haven't laughed as hard as I did when Deaner sang the lyrics, "She's gonna be my cock professor, studying my dick. She's gonna get a master's degree in fucking me!" in the song "With My Own Bare Hands." Only Ween could succeed in making misogyny rock so hard.

A few other tracks from the new album (including "Friends" and "Spirit Walker") were mixed together with tracks from the classic albums. Songs came from "The Mollusk," "Chocolate and Cheese," "Quebec," "The Pod,""Pure Guava," "12 Golden Country Classics," and "White Pepper."

The show ended with the super funky, Princed-up song "L.M.L.Y.P." (a song that has a fairly obscene lyrics if you take the time to look them up).

The stage was rushed by a throng of nubile girlies who were all about grinding on stage while one particular young lady with extremely low self esteem made sure to flash her boobies to the crowd. And no, I didn't get video of the experience. I'm sure she'll spend much of the rest of her life trying to live down the things she does when she starts drinking. I don't need to aid in her downfall.

One of the other parts of Ween shows that makes everything worthwhile is the crowd. You get an interesting mix of older indie kids, jam band-loving hippies, characters dressed in drag and other attire, the gay community hoping for another rendition of the song "Homo Rainbow," and straight-laced straight people who are discovering Boognish for the first time. The audience creates a synergistic effect along with the music that is greater than the sum of its parts.

The show was fun. There wasn't quite the energy or the intensity of the "White Pepper" shows, nor the big band community of "12 Golden Country Classics" tours.

Still, the back catalog of Ween hits makes any show enjoyable. It might not have been the best Ween show I've ever seen, but a bad Ween show beats the tar out of a good Silverchair or Insane Clown Posse (two upcoming Lifestyles acts) any day of the week.

Make sure to check out the pictures and short video clips below that come to us thanks to Ween's recording-friendly policies. (I'll add updates periodically.)

Ween

Video Links:

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Playoffs??!? Playoffs??!?

What a weekend for sports! I can't decide whether the biggest story of the weekend was the collapse of the Mets, the NL Wild Card coming down to game 163, college football's wild weekend where number two jumped number one and scores of other contenders got knocked down, or the NFL weekend where we found out the Bears were who we thought they were, only the Lions didn't let them get away. At least I still have the Cubbies to keep me warm while I'm making the decision...let's play ball.

Now that Congress failed to reach any consensus on what to do in Iraq other than throw more money at the problem, they have decided to focus their efforts on domestic issues like health care and taxes. Hopefully these guys can get SOMETHING accomplished instead of blaming all their inadequacies on Furher Bush and his convictions.

The campaign of genocide in Sudan has now expanded its aim to include aid workers in the ravaged country. If karma actually existed, some of the scumbags in Darfur and the United Nations would pay dearly for their roles as active or complacent contributors to the human rights abuses in this troubled land. At least we still have time to concentrate on missile defense shields and other science fiction while being to busy in Iraq to lend any real assistance to people in real need.

In vegetarian news, 21.7 million pounds of ground beef were recalled by Topps Meat because of E. coli contamination, proving what I have known for more than a decade: eating ground up dead cows is disgusting.

Musical mavericks Radiohead are releasing their latest album on the internet, and they are giving you the option of how much, if anything, you want to pay for it. 50 Cent forced people to pay for his pathetic new album, and as a result, lost his battle of album sales with Kanye West. Maybe 50 should try a Radiohead business model with his next venture.

Finally, Reuters put together an interesting article about musicians and their preference for analog equipment over the digital counterparts. This is a really interesting concept to explore, but for credibility's sake, don't use limited, meaningless terminology like electronica to describe music for fear of how L7 that will really make you look in your inability to genre-fy music you can't truly conceptualize. Electronica has slightly more meaning than did the equally meaningless category of grunge, if for no reason other than the fact the the musicians (much like Bob Dylan at the Newport Folk Festival) do in fact plug their instruments into an electric outlet, much along the same lines that grunge musicians played guitar and showered less often than was media-appropriate. Learn to use the music terminology correctly or fear getting burned, Reuters.

O.J. Sucks at Crime (Allegedly)

He's ba-ack! The Juice just couldn't stay out of the headlines. Years after his famous murder trial, O.J. Simpson has been questioned about a break-in and theft of sports memorabilia in a Los Vegas casino. If he did it, the law might finally squeeze the last pulp out of the Juice.

Another case has had a verdict rendered...Bush is staying in Iraq. The Nation offered an analysis of the war on terror, calling the current Bush policy illegal, immoral and misdirected.You can only hope that somebody in Congress will finally step up to the plate and take a swing at smashing this policy over the Green Monster that is the White House stubborn streak. I pick Kucinich because he would look the funniest rounding the bases (and also because his vegan diet allows him to swing a sweet stick).

On the indefinite detention in the war on terror front, the Pentagon censored an audio recording of 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, believing that the material could be used as recruiting material in the YouTube world. This is probably a bad move. Everybody remembers how big 2 Live Crew got after the government tried to censor them. The U.S. doesn't want Osama bin Laden to achieve Luther Campbell status. Everybody would be out buying the album!

I just can't get enough of the Presidential mashup. It was referenced here yesterday, and you can put together your own debate, choosing any or all of the Democratic candidates to answer questions within a set time frame on Iraq, health care, education or a random jab by comedian Bill Maher. Web 2.0 candidate Barack Obama leads the poll so far with 36 percent choosing him as the winner over runner-up Hillary Clinton (32 percent). Eddie the Ambulance Chaser finished a distant third as of press time. The technology in these debates is still developing. Hopefully in a few years we'll be able to ask candidates like Mike Gravel directly if they really, truly believe they have a chance at winning or if campaigning is just a hobby of theirs.

Also on the subject of Bill Maher, he posted a blog entry about those he calls 24 Hour Republican Party People. On the heels of the national sex scandals plaguing the G.O.P. comes the story of the St. Petersburg City Council Chairman committing suicide after allegations arose that he sexually abused three young girls, two of whom were his adopted daughters. The Republican party is just one giant George Michael scandal followed by a night out with Charlie Sheen, ending with confession at a Catholic church.

Concertgoers interested in how their city stacks up against the competition can compare notes in the University of Chicago study that compares music markets. If they were counting, Ohio would probably finish in last place.

The sports jury is in: Bill Belichick's punishment wasn't harsh enough. Belichick, the hooded sweatshirt-clad 007 of NFL head coaches, has to fork over $500,000 for video taping the Jets sideline, while the team loses a quarter of a million dollars and a 1st round pick if they make the playoffs or a 2nd and 3rd round pick if they don't. The Chargers think that Brady and Moss should be euthanized in order to make things fair. The Jets want a penalty more like the McLaren automobile fine. I suggest an even greater punishment--make Lloyd Carr the Patriots coach during a four game suspension to be served by the hooded hoodwink Belichick.

A Hilliard Davidson high school student had his punishment reduced for his role in a prank passing out signs to a section occupied by the rival team's fans at the football stadium that spelled out, "We Suck" when they were held up in unison during the third quarter. The other high school's fans should also have been punished for sucking at common sense.

Finally, if you don't think that people waste enough time watching television or using social networking sites, somebody had the common sense to combine the two endeavors. OMG my top friend is that guy from the MySpace show. Somebody shoot me now.

The Weather Report in Iraq

I feel safer already. Russia has developed the most powerful non-nuclear bomb in the world. The move was rumored to have been intended to make the U.S. nervous. I'm guessing Chechnya is the location that is most nervous.

Today's news was all over the Petraeus report and King George's reaction to the information. Most sources aren't buying the story coming from the General and the Commander in Chief. The next step is for the press to demand a swift guarantee at the legislative level to make sure this empty promise actually comes true.

Also in troubling Iraq news, two of the seven soldiers who authored an op-ed piece in the New York Times that was critical of the reports of success in the campaign have been killed in the line of duty. That eliminates two more people who have more insight into the situation in Iraq than anybody in the White House. Hopefully the administration isn't trying to knock off everybody critical of the surge, because those other five troops (one of which was also shot in the head Aug. 12) and I will have to watch out more than usual.

Disgraced Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has resigned on the heels of a terrible year in office. I'm guessing Britney Spears' manager and publicist are probably doing the same thing right now.

After being accused of cheating by video taping the Jets and publicly admitting said transgression, Patriots coach Bill Belichick has critics ranging from Chargers halfback LaDanian Tomlinson to the media. Belichick is just thankful that he still isn't coaching in Cleveland.

Finally in jazz news, synth great Joe Zawinul died at the age of 75. Zawinul played and composed songs for the titans Miles Davis and Cannonball Adderly before forming the seminal jazz fusion group Weather Report with saxophone virtuoso Wayne Shorter. Zawinul crossed genres and cultures, creating a sound that was equal parts classical European tradition, funky jazz keyboard and rock n roll. Zawinul composed major parts of the jazz songbook, songs that were performed by the legends of the genre as well as currently being played by youngsters trying to cut their teeth. Some of the music sounds dated now, but today's multi-genre fusion efforts in a multitude of styles owe a great debt of gratitude to the pioneers like Joe Zawinul, a man who blazed a path so bright that those who come after him will be able to follow the trail for years to come.

Operas About Terrorism

German authorities are reporting the arrest of three people plotting to launch terrorist attacks against American and Teutonic targets, seizing a cache of explosives and military detonators that were to be used against unnamed targets in the country. The materials confiscated by the authorities potentially would have been the biggest bomb to explode in Germany since the David Hasselhoff Hamburger video surfaced.

Iraq continues to pile up the bad news. Reports indicate that the Iraqi army will be unable to take over for American forces within the next 18 months. Experts are also crediting reports of decreased violence in Iraq to dubious accounting practices. Hopefully this is all part of the continuing success of the troop surge.

After this blog commented on the pitfalls that have rained down upon the Republican party, the news came in that Paul Gilmore, a Senator from Ohio, died in his apartment at the age of 68. Most Republicans were wishing that Larry Craig would have dropped dead and that Paul Gillmore would have stuck around, but hey--you can't win them all.

Are you ready for some football? The NFL season starts tonight with the Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Colts facing the NFC Championship also-ran New Orleans Saints. The Onion is predicting big things for Brady Quinn. Hopefully another Cincinnati Bengal doesn't get arrested in the stands before their first game on Monday.

The biggest story in college football this year was Appalachian State beating the juggernaut that is Michigan. Now rival Ohio State fans are creating a huge demand for Appalachian State wear in order to taunt the rival Wolverines. Salt, meet open wound.

Finally, in music news, the opera world was dealt a tragic blow as one of its most notable figures has died of pacreatic cancer at the age of 71. Luciano Pavarotti, the most noted of the great Three Tenors, lost a long battle with the disease. He was noted for his warm stage presence, his rich and vibrant tone and his clear diction of Romance languages. Pavarotti was one of the latest in a long line of opera stars to cross over into the realm of pop culture. Recordings will be all that remains of one of the greatest voices of all time.

Any Given Saturday

Count Michigan out of the National Championship picture. The overconfident Wolverines were outmatched by the overwhelming onslaught orchestrated by the outrageous Appalachian State Mountaineers, a team playing at the competitive level formerly referred to as I-AA, by a score of 34-32. Just start naming teams that you think would beat Appalachian State at home and rank Big Blue accordingly (my list stops at Missouri, Ohio University and North Carolina).

The Hillary Clinton campaign missed some blatant red flags that should have been noticed when they accepted donations from con man criminal Norman Hsu. Hillary returned the swindler's money, proving that she has a great moral compass when she's caught red handed.

Republicans are dropping like flies. Everybody's favorite closet Log Cabin Republican Larry Craig is stepping down. John William Warner, a man with greater heterosexual credibility in the Republican Party after marrying Elizabeth Taylor, is also wrapping up his Senate tenure by not running for re-election. Warner should be the first Republican leaving office in the last chunk of time that can actually ever show his face in public again, so congratulations on that moral victory.

Texas Governor Rick Perry finally called off the execution dogs on Kenneth Foster in a move called for in a previous post by this blog. Now all they have to do is execute capital punishment and they'll have the whole thing solved.

WWE boss Vince McMahon suspended 10 wrestlers for violating the health and wellness policy for steroid use before he is to be called to testify in front of Congress next month. I can't wait to hear his explanation for how he got on the cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine at the age of 60.

In the obituary section, renowned beer critic Michael Jackson died at the age of 65. Jackson was an expert on beer, especially from Belgium, and travelled the world over tasting the world's finest brews. He was also extremely knowledgeable about whisky. Pour a little of your 40 out to remember your dead homey because this guy was a wealth of beer facts and esoterica that will never be replaced.

Finally, anybody within realistic distance to Chicago should take advantage of one of their best free festivals--The Chicago Jazz Festival. My personal highlights would include Charlie Haden's Liberation Music Orchestra, Medeski, Scofield, Martin and Wood, Herbie Hancock, Rob Mazurek's Exploding Star Orchestra, Ernest Dawkins, the Mingus Big Band, 8 Bold Souls and the Fred Anderson Trio if I was actually in town. So please go and tell me what I missed.

Only in America

Only in America could somebody have the freedom to mope and complain daily on a blog like I do. Only in America could people be upset with the Home Run King. Only in America would the story of a has-been backup dancer filing for primary custody of his kids against a lunatic who shaves her head on a whim and cleans up dog poop with thousand dollar dresses be front page news. Only in America would the Katie Couric experiment continue to drag on. Only Al Qaeda would say that we don't live in the greatest country in the world!

Only in America would states sparsely populated with folksy rural types decide who the candidate for President will be. South Carolina, a folksy rural state with a population greater than Iowa and New Hampshire, has decided to usurp the two states that have guided the course of American politics for years by moving their primary up to January 19. This in turn will force the little states that could to move their primaries up, possibly into the end of the year before the election, in order to make politicians pretend that they really care about Iowa and New Hampshire. Iowa is less representative of America than Michael Vick is of dog owners, but whatever works for the political parties works out for America (for better or worse).

Only in America could a political party have its cake and eat it too. Congressional Democrats want to have Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' head on a platter served on a bed of rice pilaf, and to show him how badly they want him crushed, they offered him...expanded oversight over the warrantless wiretapping program? If Gonzales keeps screwing up, the Democrats might arrange to have Rachel Specter blow Gonzo for all his incompetent work.

Only in America would people rally behind a candidate whose claim to fame is dealing with terrorism, and only in America would that candidate completely fabricate those credentials, strolling by unchecked. Rudy Giuliani, America's mayor, keeps towing his campaign line in the run to the White House, and if somebody doesn't call his bullshit in the early stages, I'm sure his opponents on the other side will be more than happy to exploit his shortcomings come election time.

Only in America could a kid from the South Side of Chicago rise like a phoenix from the ashes and sit atop the Billboard charts. Common is number 1 on the charts for the first time in his career. The calls of the death of hip hop might have been a bit premature, reflecting consumers' distaste for tired, recycled garbage (is anybody out there, Shop Boyz?) and a need for the cerebral stylings of one Lonnie Rashied Lynn (a.k.a. Common) amongst others. Hip hop's success has even spilled over to France, where the hip hop verses of kebab vendor Lil'Maaz have taken the country by storm. Finally, America and France are together again, even if it is only in a superficial, bass driven linkage.

Finally, only in America would a corporate sponsored Web cast censor the political content of its headliner. Pearl Jam is up in arms about its anti-Bush lyrics being cut from the AT&T broadcast of the Lollapalooza concert in Chicago (also promoted by this blog). If I was in charge of oversight of the derivative, overrated Pearl Jam live experience, I would have censored everything BUT the part where Eddie Vedder sang, "George Bush, leave this world alone." Take it or leave it, Ed.

I Vote for Giuliani's Daughter

It has been difficult for Rudy Giuliani to win support, be it from his Republican base or even from those looking to cling to his 9/11 hero image. Now, you can count his 17 year old daughter Caroline amongst those who are voting for Barack. According to her Facebook profile, the incoming Harvard freshman was a member of an Obama support group on the social networking site. If you can't win an election held by your own family, Rudolph, how can we expect you to win a Republican nomination, much less a Presidential election?

British troops are withdrawing from Basra in Iraq, and following soon behind is sectarian bedlam. Then again, it isn't like life on the ground in Basra was all cookies and candy before the redcoats left, and it isn't improving, so make sure to get while the getting is good.

Press freedom organizations are crying foul based upon China's empty promises to allow unfettered access for foreign journalists during next year's Olympics. If they wanted press freedom, perhaps they should have spent more time detailing China's human rights records before the bid was accepted in order to have the Olympics elsewhere. At this point, all we can do is report that this time, LeBron James will put the smack down on their newly married bean-pole of a superstar Yao Ming. Tell Beijing to censor that!

Europe doesn't quite support the U.S. plan of firearms to Israel and Saudi Arabia as diplomacy in the Middle East. Obviously the European Union has never read the United States' holy book, the Constitution, and it's most holy chapter, the Second Amendment. If spreading democracy doesn't work, at least we can give the Middle East more guns, because much like New Jersey, the region would be safer if more people were armed. It's a slam dunk when you consider our success at keeping track of the weaponry when we send it there.

There is a great new feature on the Huffington Post that is a database that allows you to search through the records of individual donations to the coming Presidential election. This tool will allow you to ascertain whether young Caroline Giuliani's allowance money will be going to the Obama '08 campaign.

CMJ ran a feature on hosting sites on the Web that allow for music piracy by bypassing the traditional peer-to-peer and torrent routes of music distribution, making them part of the fabric of the Web. If the music business continues like this, the only thing left for the industry to do will be to (gasp) focus on the quality of their recorded product and work on putting together kick-ass live shows. Imagine the horror!

Gary Vaynerchuk, co-owner of a large wine store in New Jersey, is trying to take the arrogance out of wine drinking, and he's reaching curious consumers through his lighthearted streaming videos on the Web. Leave it to new media to create a forum where the curious don't need to know the definitions of the words brettanomyces and trichloroanisol in order to appreciate fermented grape juice. Bravo!

Every year, the loopy news wire reports on the winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest at San Diego State, a contest where the winner tries to pen the worst opening line to a work of fiction possible. This year's winner began thusly: "Gerald began -- but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them 'permanently' meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash -- to pee." Is it even possible for me to pen a joke funnier than that piece of prose?

Finally, dog owners upset with the Michael Vick dogfighting case but unable to take their frustrations out on the nimble quarterback may have a new recourse. The Michael Vick Dog Chew Toy is available online for animal rights activists, humorists and Falcons fans everywhere.

It's Beautiful, but Is It Art?

Gaze in awe at the grace and beauty that was the Chicago area's most controversial piece of public art. The Spindle is no more. Berwyn residents had difficulty finding a permanent home for the display that some call an eyesore while others describe it as an ironic piece of pop culture that makes a statement about the region. However they call it, it's definitely American.

Congress finally passed legislation that will tighten up the leash on lobbyists. Now, crooked politicians will have to buy their own dinner, gifts and travel arrangements for their next trek into bed with special interests. Way to keep it on the up and up, Congress.

An unnamed federal judge declared in a classified ruling that the White House policy on warrantless wiretappings is, in fact, illegal. This explains why Bush was pressing to backdoor the policy through Congress, and also explains the reason why Congress balked at extending the plan. This may be the most crushing blow to Bush's spirit, able to be eclipsed only by the moment when Cheney has to explain to W that there is no Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.

If you thought that the CNN/YouTube Democratic Presidential debate was the latest evidence of a new media future political landscape, think again. Slate, The Huffington Post and Yahoo are putting together an online campaign forum they are calling a Presidential mashup. Eight candidates will debate online, and I'm guessing Barack Obama will win the online debate based upon his massive MySpace credibility and his staff's ability to type in "lol" after everything posted by Gravel and Kucinich.

Media ethics are the story of the day in Los Angeles, where newscaster Mirthala Salinas was suspended without pay for two months after it was revealed that she was having a relationship with Antonio Villaraigosa, the mayor of L.A. who was one of the politicians she covered. The move was damaging to the credibility of KVEA-TV's news department and very good for Villaraigos'a quest to be named this year's Scott Baio award winner in American politics.

The editor of an Oakland weekly newspaper was shot as he walked to work in a move that police are calling a contract killing. If I had one guess as to whodunnit, I'd put my money on Raiders coach Lane Kiffin snuffing the newspaper man out for saying with or without JaMarcus Russell, the Raiders would be lucky to go 6-10 in the Mountain West Conference.

The organization responsible for regulating IP addresses is warning that the finite resource that allows people to connect to the internet is running out, and a new system will need to be developed in order to increase the growth of the Web. This may be a crushing blow to the constantly connected culture and great news to everybody who gets cut off driving on the highway by some maniac browsing their email on a Blackberry.

The University of Texas is doing their best to become the Ohio University of the 2007 NCAA Football season after freshman defensive tackle Andre Jones became the second player arrested in connection with an aggravated robbery and the fifth player arrested in the last two months. Obviously there is something other than steers and queers in Texas, and that something is felonious football thugs.

If you didn't get your tickets to see the mega-music event Lollapalooza in Chicago, you can always enjoy it being streamed to you live on your computer for free. You can also feel free to completely ignore Slightly Stoopid like you would if you were actually at the concert.

Finally, the most bizarre story of the day had to be the story about a man in Germany who was killed and eaten by his collection of pet spiders and lizards. If that story doesn't give you arachnophobia, probably nothing will.

Pitchfork Report

I'm a few days behind here, but it's about time for me to give my two cents about my short stay at the Pitchfork Music Festival in Union Park in Chicago. I didn't get to go beginning to end like I did last year, but what I caught was fun. I ate well and got a little sun. Dollar for dollar, this is always one of the greatest bargains in music festivals. My five hours there were well worth the price of admission.

I rode the Metra train to Union Station and walked ten blocks west. Before I got to Chicago, I spent an hour talking to Brian, a nut job who had some convoluted story about taking a cab to get to the Northbrook train station in order to catch another train downtown to get to Elmwood Park to see his girlfriend. I now know every bit of his personal history, and I feel dumber for it.

I got a little hungry on the walk over, and I stopped at a restaurant in Greek Town to get some cheese sticks, an authentic Greek delicacy. (On a side note, Artopolis is a great restaurant in the area that is well worth checking out.) I picked up my tickets at will call, and ran full speed ahead to the side stage to see Powerhouse Sound perform.

The Powerhouse Sound album has two faces. The new release was a double album with a European version and a U.S. version on two disks. The stateside incarnation was performing in the first slot at Pitchfork Festival. There is also a European version of Powerhouse Sound that obviously did not play today.

Multi-reedist Ken Vandermark is the band leader for both incarnations of the band, including today's Chicago-based group. Nate McBride plays electronic bass. The guitar/drums in the band are played by two members of Chicago jazzbo heavy-hitters Tortoise. Jeff Parker manned the guitar and John Herndon played the drum kit.

The set was a definite showcase for Vandermark, who I would guess may have been playing for much of the crowd for the first time. Powerhouse Sound has a very high energy dynamic that hopefully will regroup for another album or show in the future. It was great to see these kind of crowds give this kind of reaction to these outstanding performers. The energy of the crowd trumps the could-care-less vibe that permeated some of the Empty Bottle shows in the past. Hopefully the show turns more people on to the undiscovered treasure that is the community of Chicago improvisers.

Next, I went to explore the fantastic dining options available at the festival. Pitchfork always has magnificent options for the vegetarian and vegan community. I had organic lentils served with onions, tomatoes and Indian spices on a bed of rice from Bombay Station. I also enjoyed a watermelon lemonade from the Southern outpost Wishbone, as well as vegan soy chocolate chip "ice cream" from Chicago Soy Dairy Temptation.

There were other options as well, from hummus, tabouli and spicy seitan at Big Bite catering, the vegetarian pad Thai at Star of Siam, and the veggie quesadillas and roasted corn at the Goose Island booth served along with their summer beer offerings at another tent. There was even a Chipotle there. You could eat five vegetarian meals at the event and not repeat anything once.

After my lunch, I caught a bit of the Califone set. Califone rose from the ashes of the band Red Red Meat. The band offers a beautiful take on American folk music, with a bluegrass root coming through on the diverse array of songs they play. The band played an absolutely amazing set with Wilco on a previous tour, and they seem poised to make a major breakthrough at some unknown future date.

Next, I went back to the side stage to catch the William Parker Quartet. If Powerhouse Sound was all about explosive energy, William Parker's outfit was about understatement and restraint. The band is led by Parker, a bass player who has recorded with many of the titans of free jazz. He plays alongside Lewis Barnes on trumpet, Rob Brown on alto sax and Hamid Drake on the drums. The set was good, though hardly the best I've seen the quartet perform. The sound quality was poor at best, with a 10 minute blast of unexplained feedback that apparently plagued the stage all weekend. Really, though, after Hamid Drake's solo that mimics an assault on the senses, all was forgiven.

The next band was Voxtrot. A couple of their songs (particularly "Kid Gloves") get tons of play on Sirius. The show was nothing special. I preferred the studio product to its live counterpart.

The underwhelming Voxtrot set gave me some time to check out the goods for sale in the market and at Flatstock. The market contained many craft products as well as a pile of independent music in any format imaginable. Flatstock was an on-site concert poster gallery that has tons of great artwork by a variety of artists.

Grizzly Bear played next, and they were excellent. The lead singer was playing this crazy dulcimer instrument that gave the songs a fairy tale quality. The Brooklyn band played a strong set that explains what all the buzz they have created is all about. This band is definitely worth checking out. The Girl Talk remix of the song "Knife" gives two Pitchfork sweethearts a chance to share talents, and it is also a great starting point to check the band out.

The slow drone of the band Beach House could have bored me to tears. It was a dark, depressing, morose soundtrack that was closer to ambient electronic minimalism than the typical singer/instrumentalist duo puts out. This duo was about as exciting as any part of the Tour de France or statistics class.

There was no way Beach House could compete when the band following them was Battles. Guitarist/laptop master/vocalist (if that is the right term for his indistinguishably processed vocals) Tyondai Braxton played at last year's Pitchfork Festival. The other members of the group (John Stanier on drums, Ian Williams on guitar and keyboards, and Dave Konopka on guitar and bass) make this outfit one of math rock's most formidable units, and their live show is all energy. This show was great, and if this band is within 400 miles of you, drive there and check it out. (Also, as a free taste, check out the YouTube clip of their video "Atlas", a clip which may be the best video of the year by a mile and a half.)

I also saw Fujiya and Miyagi, the trio who released one of my favorite dance tracks of the year in "Collarbone". I thought these guys were more electronic than analog, but they actually play infectious dance music live, and it's sure to get the floor moving.

In addition, I saw the beginning of the Iron and Wine set. It was too bad I had to leave early to go to dinner. Their music (truly they are soloist Sam Beam who sometimes plays alongside other musicians) is a soothing folk-tinged rock that runs the gamut from country to folk to prison songs performed with beautiful emotion, taking a few stops between that break up the sweet emotion evoked in the last ballad.

I also wanted to (but didn't get a chance to) see Clipse and Girl Talk to see what all the hype was about. I might have liked to have seen the Lightbox Orchestra at the beginning of day three.I might also have killed somebody to get a chance to see the GZA do "Liquid Swords" alongside Sonic Youth's full rendition of "Daydream Nation". But my five hours at the fest were well worth it, those things considered. Luckily I escaped before headliner Yoko Ono went on. All in all, the show was great,and I'll be there with bells on for next year's Fork. All of my photographs are in the Picasa link below.

Last Trip

Flight of the Conchords

I can't believe I haven't recommended this yet. HBO's Flight of the Conchords is a musical comedy show. It's sort of like the Monkees, but the band on this show is a duo rather than a quartet and they are from real New Zealand rather than pseudo-Great Britain like the Monkees.

The format of the show shares a lot of similarities to another comedy rock duo from HBO, Tenacious D. There are comedy segments. There are music segments. The segments are connected by the adventures and misadventures of the Bret and Jemaine, the two participants on the band's eponymous television show.

Flight of the Conchords' (FotC) musical style and sense of humor differs greatly from the bombastic Jack Black. Musically, I put them in closer proximity to Ween (especially Ween's new dancetastic EP) than to the hard rock roots of Tenacious D. Rather than fattening their sound up with Dave Grohl like Tenacious D or an enormous touring band like Ween, FotC track electronic rhythms, synth lines and vocals to augment their acoustic interplay.

The comic timing of the two is great. They are two equal performers and comedians, unlike Tenacious D with JB (funny man) and KG (straight man). Both guys are the funny man, and both guys are the straight man. It's an absurd avenue for comedy that is backed by some pretty catchy songs that will make you laugh. If you don't believe me, check the video links below.


This is an appearance on a New Zealand program that shows an earlier version of the song "The Humans Are Dead."


This video is of the song "Most Beautiful Girl in the Room" from the show.


This video is of the song "She's So Hot--Boom!" from the show.


This video is part of a docu-comedy that featured the band's appearance at the South by Southwest festival in Austin, Tex.

Eating Turned Up to Eleven

From Kobayashi's arthritic jaw to strokes caused by eating hard boiled eggs to death by bread and water, the sport of competitive eating is creating a new line of injuries that have a longer history then one might expect. With the titan of the sport on the sidelines with his injured jaw, the competition can be won by any number of fat, despicable slobs from Brooklyn rather than by a skinny Japanese dude. People will watch if anybody really cares about competitive eating.

Real scandal rolled in as expected with George Bush commuting the sentence of Scooter Libby. The decision was made without consulting his staff or the Justice department. Democrats were openly critical of the move, which keeps the felonious pawn out of prison while still keeping his record spotted. Bush might want to get Cheney in court and convicted now so he can pardon him before another administration gets a chance to make him serve real prison time.

Anarchy in the Middle East leads off with U.S. officials fingering Iran for killing five U.S. troops in Iraq. The military record is one in a long line that ties Iran to militant activity in Iran. If the place doesn't look bad enough with the influences attacking from outside the country, the Christian Science Monitor reports that bribes and militant groups are being used in Iraq to get kids through school. I don't know what this means for Iraq, but if I find a militia wandering around the streets of Athens, my thesis will be done this afternoon.

New names keep coming up in the Glasgow bombing case, and many of these names have the abbreviation Dr. before their name. Eight people have been arrested in the case and three are medical professionals. If these people had to work in the U.S. health care system, imagine how irate they would be! The attempts may be a model for future U.S. attacks, suggesting that Michael Moore's "Sicko" might also have touched off a nerve domestically.

Ohio University's board of trustees has put embroiled President Roderick McDavis on a short leash, extending his term for one more year. The only way the board could have selected a less popular man for President would have been to appoint George W. Bush Athens' new Decider-in-Chief.

On the music front, renowned soprano Beverly Sills died of lung cancer at the age of 78. Me and the other two opera fans have been crushed by the news.

Finally, people who have way too much money on their hands will be excited by the news that they can bid on a dinner date with Spinal Tap and Rob Reiner. Bidding started at $2,000 and got up to $5,000.52 as of press time on the eBay Web site. This information will push the stupid memorabilia purchasing knob up to 11.