04 July 2007

Independence Day with 400% Less Will Smith

There will be some brief ruminating and complaining before I'm off to celebrate the birth of our great nation. Then it's off to drink and blow things up. God bless America, praise the lord and pass the ammunition.

If anybody was curious as to how we have spent these billions of dollars in Iraq, they need to look no further than the contractors (soldiers-for-hire) fighting in some sort of confederated union under the banner of the American flag. These contractors are the combat equivalent of the first credit card you got in college. You know you aren't supposed to buy these things and that you'll never be able to pay off the debt, but you keep swiping and stop thinking about it. Take the plastic away from the Oval Office before they spend your grandkids' grandkids' retirement plans.

Scootergate continues to pick up steam. Robert Sheer believes that the commutation shows that the administration believes it is above the law. The great philosopher Nico Toscani once said, "
You guys think you're above the law... well you ain't above mine!" With Bush not ruling out a full pardon for Libby, perhaps Steven Seagal should be dispatched to Pennsylvania Avenue for a White House Showdown (I copyright that movie title...it's mine!).

After 100 days in captivity, BBC journalist Alan Johnston was freed by his captors in Gaza. He's a brave man for surviving this ordeal, and anybody who is working over in Gaza or the West Bank to dig up the truth is braver than somebody like myself, whose bravest act of defiance was wearing a Bears jersey into a Packers bar.

The Republican Presidential candidates are losing the money grab to the Dems, who have put up a sizable lead on the G.O.P. The only reason Mitt Romney can see Barack and Hillary is because he is throwing his own personal money into the fund. The only way these guys could stay in the race is by having a stockpile of ill-gotten gains to toss around in order to keep their ship afloat (a la Romney).

Weird news starts off with scientists finally figuring out how an entire lake in Chile disappeared
while explaining where it went to. The scientists attributed the change to global warming while President Bush attributed the change to the boogieman or some other force out of our control.

Independence day brings about beer drinkers of many different stripes. Beermakers are complaining about massive revenue (millions of dollars) lost through kegs being sold for scrap metal. Consumers issue just as many complaints about the low quality swill being passed off as beer under the Budweiser, Miller and Coors banners. It appears that once again big business has created a new situation where nobody wins. Yeah big business, yeah big beer!

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