Rolling Around in the Gravel

If you had no idea who Democratic Presidential candidate Mike Gravel was before today, make sure to check out his compelling (and crazy) campaign video. Mike, I vote for you as the only Democratic candidate who can pull off McCain crazy. Congrats!

U.S. Diplomats in Iraq (i.e. the people who drew the shortest possible straw on President Bush's diplomatic assignment day) are complaining that they are vulnerable as construction of their fortified new embassy has hit numerous delays. The embassy (price tag: $592 million) has had many safety mistakes in the construction of the facility. The most notable of these safety mistakes is putting your half billion dollar embassy in Baghdad.

Strikes against radical militants at a mosque in Pakistan continue. More than 700 have surrendered and 19 have been killed in a siege at the Red Mosque. The sect showed very strong evidence of its radical roots when its leader Maulana Abdul Aziz was captured...in drag. Pervez Musharraf had better watch out. He can probably contain radical Islam, but he doesn't want to rile the radical cross-dressing sub-sect of Islam.

On the heels of Sicko and on the approach of another Presidential election, the NYTimes characterizes the different health plans for each of the Presidential hopefuls. The best health care plan I can visualize involves Clinton and Giuliani staying home on election day so my heart doesn't get crushed by candidate banality.

Hamas in confident that it can control Palestinian territory after the organization secured the release of journalist Alan Johnston. Israel later killed 11 in Gaza to remind to Hamas who is really in control.

The Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger has recently run into a couple of problems. In the movies, he could beat the tar out of the bad guys or blow them away with automatic weapons or even destroy them with clever one-liners. However, his stage persona is nothing compared to the power of number crunchers who found that Arnie finances his lavish travel arrangements by offering generous tax refunds to those who give him free travel and accommodations. Arnold might be back, but who knows if he can climb out of the controversy.

The most important sports news is that the Russian city of Sochi won the bid for the 2014 Winter Olympics. I was relieved to hear this news, because now I know what country they will be broadcasting the Winter Olympics from when I am busy not watching it.

Candymakers danced the dance of joy when researches connected dark chocolate consumption with lower blood pressure. Just keep telling yourself that, fatty.

News of the Weird covers a week's worth of crazy stories, and few were crazier than the paternity case involving a woman who slept with identical twins on the same day. (If the link doesn't match, the story will be here.) Both men are matches for paternity, and the brother being dragged to court is naturally blaming his twin. Bro, don't do me like that!