Don't Mess with Partridge

Who would have imagined years ago that it would have been possible for a washed up show biz has-been who resurrected his career appearing on a television show about other has-been celebrities to suplex a dude who was famous strictly for appearing on similar low budget garbage productions at a show giving awards to nincompoops who appear on these types of programs? Watch Danny Bonaduce body slam "Survivor" villain Jonny Fairplay above, and remember never to chest hump Danny Partridge.

In the real world, reports are surfacing about Alberto Gonzales, the former Attorney General, authoring a series of secret documents that authorized extreme torture methods by the CIA after public documents decried these tactics. Amongst the techniques allowed in the secret files was forcing reputed members of Al Qaeda to watch all of the VH1 Really Awards and leaving out the Bonaduce/Fairplay tussle. Our government really is a bunch of brutal bastards.

Word in Iraq is that the country is fed up waiting for weapons for their police force to come from the U.S., so the Iraqi government is going to pay China $100 million for more guns and ammo. And who said democracy would never work in Iraq? Much like Wal-Mart, Iraq has discovered it can get what it wants and what it needs cheaper from China than from America.

Netizens looking to get their bullshit straight from the source need look no further than the new, handy-dandy U.S. Department of State blog Dipnote. I can't wait to see their next entry on how well they have created, "a more secure, democratic, and prosperous world for the benefit of the American people and the international community," through their efforts in Iraq. I can't wait to read Condi's next post...it will be great to engage her directly in the blogosphere.

Finally, Mr. Sulu will get to orbit through outer space forever now that they named an asteroid after actor George Takei. The "Star Trek" veteran who currently appears on the show "Heroes" was recognized by the International Astronomical Union's Committee on Small Body Nomenclature, an organization dedicated to naming celestial bodies and to saving small bodies like Nicole Ritchie and the skinny Olsen twin here on Earth.