21 August 2007

Are You Ready for Some Football?

And with the first pick in the 2007 draft, the United States penal system selects Michael Vick, quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons. Here's hoping your cell mate isn't carrying a rape stand, Mike.

The chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee is calling for the ouster of the "democratically" elected President of Iraq Nouri al-Maliki. It's a shame that American citizens don't have the option of picking new elected officials because the last batch of elected officials is ineffective and unnecessary.

The ineffective and unnecessary leadership at the White House is making a stand against health care for children of the middle class without insurance. Their logic is that if these kids die off young while their parents also die off from old age, nobody will be left to be critical of the shambles that are the Bush legacy.

The Democratic majority in Congress has given birth to a 33 percent increased budget meant to battle global warming. It's about time somebody in this country spent money on something that will actually do ME some good in the future. Bravo to their selflessness (and a hurrah for my selfishness).

If you think the U.S. has trouble in our coal mines, maybe you should try China on for size. Relatives of the 172 miners trapped in a flooded mine protested the government's inactivity related to their loved ones. China's relationship with good press is about as longstanding as Michael Vick's, suggesting that China may want to just shoot all journalists dead before the press corps tears China to shreds at its own Olympics.

Finally, sports and news of the weird intersect at the story of a 59-year-old senior football player at Sul Ross University in Texas waiting to hear if he made the squad 35 years after his junior year. I don't know what Mike Flynt thinks he's doing, but if he makes that roster, he may inspire Barry Bonds to be the designated hitter for the Angels until 2050. Boo that idea!

No comments: