I wouldn't be the first person ever to accuse the Cubs of being unlucky. One day after pitcher Carlos Zambrano knocked out his battery mate Michael Barrett in a fight that went from the dugout to the clubhouse, manager Lou Pinella was ejected for one of his signature dirt kicking tirades. Jay Mariotti might have gotten it right about the team...what a bunch of Lou-sers.
If you think that Wrigley Field is the only spot with calamitous violence in this news cycle, think again. There were more than 100 German police officers injured in a riot that erupted in reaction to the G-8 summit meeting in the Fatherland. If nothing else, the opponents of globalization will be contributing to the coffers of those who work in the medical and automobile repair industries. The score for now is Corporate Culture 1, Radical Reform Movement 0. We will keep you updated on any changes as they occur.
Not to be outdone in violence, a U.S. warship was blowing the crap out of a Somali militant hotbed today. You have to like being able to bomb somebody to the dark ages while floating around at sea. If I had that ability, I'd be drinking margaritas on the deck while floating off the coast of Los Angeles, lobbing cruise missiles at as many of the Spellings, Baldwins and their ilk as possible on board my imaginary warship.
Violence even spilled back into New York today, with federal agents breaking up a plan to blow up jet fuel lines at JFK airport. There hasn't been a bomb scare like this in New York since the Yankees put Carl Pavano on the disabled list. That bomb, followed by A-Rod's marriage bomb and Giambi's amphetamine bomb make this an explosive, if unproductive Yankees team.
The 2008 election is fast approaching, which means all the loonies are putting their hats into the ring. Fred Thompson, a.k.a. district attorney Arthur Branch on "Law and Order," has formed a fundraising committee for his campaign. Nobody knows what he stands for, nor do they really care, but if he gets Jack McCoy to be Attorney General and Mariska Hargitay to be Vice President, he has my vote. (And don't laugh...you might remember the last time the Republicans ran an actor for President.)
Also running for the Republican nomination is Ron Paul, a libertarian eccentric who is opposed to...basically every Republican value. I may not be a campaign planner, but it seems that going against what has become standard Republican protocol might be the only way of winning an election. And no, nominating a Mormon rather than an old-fashioned Baptist is not enough against the grain.
The NY Times continues with more government action to clean up the fiasco that is student loans. Hopefully when that gets fixed, they can lend Ron Paul some money to make the Presidential debates that much more interesting.
In professional football news (the football they kick with their feet rather than throw with their hands), Cristiano Ronaldo was named player of the year and young player of the year in professional soccer. Before he even got the trophies, the Yankees and the Cubs were on the phone, learning how to ask, "Can you throw a baseball?" in Portuguese.