09 June 2007

If You've Come to Fight, Put Up Your Dukes

It is official. Buy a Mac. Use Linux. Vista is a nightmare. Nothing works the way it used to. Media performs terribly (especially audio). In typical Microsoft fashion, Vista railroads users into the Microsoft network of applications like Internet Explorer rather than the inherently superior Firefox. Keep XP for as long as you can. Vista is the one island you do not want to get stuck on.

After Rumsfeld's hand-picked man at the helm of the military Peter Pace stepped down, there is a new job opening in the career field called lost causes. Admiral Mike Mullen will be chosen as his successor based upon the understanding that Pace would have been roasted alive by Congress if he had to undergo another confirmation hearing. Good luck with that job Mike. It probably isn't any more of a lose-lose situation than being selected coach of the Cleveland Browns.

Dr. James Holsinger is another Bush nominee that should face careful scrutiny in his hearings to become surgeon general of the United States. Holsinger is controversial because of a paper he wrote 16 years ago for the United Methodist Church that called homosexuality "unnatural." Actually, James, asking what Jesus would do before making scientific decisions is unnatural. The physician might be a heart doctor without brains, but you know it takes a lot of balls to get on the national stage backing that argument, Dr. Holsinger-Falwell.

The United States' War on Drugs is nothing compared the conflict in Mexico. The U.S. fights a war of words and policy while in Mexico, they kill anybody and everybody that gets in the way of feeding the American appetite for blow. Within a week, 46 people were killed in a territory war across Mexico. The killings included grenade attacks and decapitations that are taking place between rival factions. Doesn't anybody in Mexico watch the Sopranos? Bad things happen when crime families split up.

Back in the States, Bush is fighting a war of a different sort. Fresh on the tail of the battle to prevent satellite radio from overtaking the generous corporate conglomerates that make up a big part of campaign finance, Bush is fighting a new war...against organic produce. Anti-trust investigations have begun, and they are aimed at preventing the merger of Whole Foods and Wild Oats. When giant media companies control entire markets, nobody blinks. But they'll be damned if one company can control all of the sales of organic clover honey in Denver. It's proof in America you can only be as competitive as your lawyers will allow you to be.

Finally, with all the reports on my fights with Vista, Mexican drug cartels fighting each other and the surgeon general fighting reason, I would be remiss if I failed to mention John Daly's wife fighting him...with a steak knife. Apparently the couple took their contentious relationship with all of its drugged out history to a restaurant, and after dinner the future ex-Mrs. Daly took her frustrations out on the portly golfer's face. John Daly is to crime and golf what John McClane is to unlucky situations involving terrorists...the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.

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