There are Different Degrees of Losing

It's going to be hard for me to say, but I have a better chance at becoming a bikini model than Cleveland has at becoming NBA champion. Game 4 should provide a great soundtrack to bore you to sleep at night.

If you're looking for something to get you excited, perhaps the bombing of one of Iraq's holiest sites will make you more than a little uneasy. The first attack years ago has been cited as the root of sectarian violence in the region. In technical terms, blowing the towers at the shrine up fucked everything up worse than it is fucked up already.

The two sides of the Palestinian coin Hamas and Fatah are engaged in a bitter civil war/power struggle, and they have decided to turn up the heat. Nothing is out of bounds, with military forces attacking leadership houses. I'm not sure if you were ever really safe walking around the streets of Gaza, but I'm guessing today is a little less safe than it was yesterday.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has been under fire since he silenced a critical television station. Chavez, the clown prince of the Southern hemisphere, is starting to flex his inner Machiavelli. If only the U.S. government could revoke Fox News' license for failing to serve the public interest, I'd vote Chavez for President in 2008.

News of the weird leads off with an L.A. Times profiling students that live a college life while not actually being enrolled in school. Let me be the first to tell you that if I didn't have to be in school, I sure as hell wouldn't be hanging around the library pretending to study philosophy.

Texas officials are reporting on widespread use amongst high school kids of a heroin-based cocktail drug known as cheese heroin. The $2 smack is mixed with the drug found in Tylenol PM and other sleeping medicines. I never needed help falling asleep in high school, and I have never done a drug named after a dairy product. But then again I have never lived in Texas.

Stalker engine Facebook has drummed up federal charges for an online predator. Allowing people like this into the Facebook community is akin to allowing a Catholic priest to be in charge of a youth summer camp. Shame on Facebook and the predator (and while I'm at it, shame on the Catholic Church).

Russia, the country that poisons critics in other nations, poisoned Kremlin protesters...with the smell of feces. Most protesters were driven away by the foul aroma of fertilizer that was conveniently strewn around the protest area. You know what they say. If it looks like shit and smells like shit...