Eating Turned Up to Eleven

From Kobayashi's arthritic jaw to strokes caused by eating hard boiled eggs to death by bread and water, the sport of competitive eating is creating a new line of injuries that have a longer history then one might expect. With the titan of the sport on the sidelines with his injured jaw, the competition can be won by any number of fat, despicable slobs from Brooklyn rather than by a skinny Japanese dude. People will watch if anybody really cares about competitive eating.

Real scandal rolled in as expected with George Bush commuting the sentence of Scooter Libby. The decision was made without consulting his staff or the Justice department. Democrats were openly critical of the move, which keeps the felonious pawn out of prison while still keeping his record spotted. Bush might want to get Cheney in court and convicted now so he can pardon him before another administration gets a chance to make him serve real prison time.

Anarchy in the Middle East leads off with U.S. officials fingering Iran for killing five U.S. troops in Iraq. The military record is one in a long line that ties Iran to militant activity in Iran. If the place doesn't look bad enough with the influences attacking from outside the country, the Christian Science Monitor reports that bribes and militant groups are being used in Iraq to get kids through school. I don't know what this means for Iraq, but if I find a militia wandering around the streets of Athens, my thesis will be done this afternoon.

New names keep coming up in the Glasgow bombing case, and many of these names have the abbreviation Dr. before their name. Eight people have been arrested in the case and three are medical professionals. If these people had to work in the U.S. health care system, imagine how irate they would be! The attempts may be a model for future U.S. attacks, suggesting that Michael Moore's "Sicko" might also have touched off a nerve domestically.

Ohio University's board of trustees has put embroiled President Roderick McDavis on a short leash, extending his term for one more year. The only way the board could have selected a less popular man for President would have been to appoint George W. Bush Athens' new Decider-in-Chief.

On the music front, renowned soprano Beverly Sills died of lung cancer at the age of 78. Me and the other two opera fans have been crushed by the news.

Finally, people who have way too much money on their hands will be excited by the news that they can bid on a dinner date with Spinal Tap and Rob Reiner. Bidding started at $2,000 and got up to $5,000.52 as of press time on the eBay Web site. This information will push the stupid memorabilia purchasing knob up to 11.

Cheap Entertainment

There are a few things that I look for when I view my entertainment options. Sex. Gratuitous violence. Ethnic stereotyping. Profanity. Excessive drinking. The Drinky Crow segment on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim by cartoonist Tony Millionaire offers all this and more in a fifteen minute package. Check out the new installment on the Adult Swim network, and prepare to laugh while being offended. There is also a profile of the cartoonist in the New York Times that sheds some insight on his twisted perspective. Good times!

Oh Give Me a Home

Fantasy is a wonderful thing when it nets paintings of the cowboy President in full repose. The wild west war on terrorism news includes Congress setting a deadline for Iraq withdrawl (which will be vetoed), the U.N. accusing Iraq of downplaying death counts, the U.S. charging a detainee in Guantanamo who was arrested at the age of 15 (which should make his trial interesting as the government is suggesting these detainees have too many lawyers), an officer being charged with aiding the enemy in Iraq and the only source for information from the Middle East The Onion saying the story about the region was blah blah blah flap flap flap. At least the President has time to cut a rug.


Oh how the noose is tightening for poor Alberto Gonzales. When it rains it pours, Bertie. Don't pout...the Dow closed above 13,000 last night, so the market should be clamoring for people with your experience.

On the world is coming to an end front, scientists have preliminarily identified a fungus that may be causing bee populations to wane dramatically this year. The death of bees would be the end of pollination, and eventually the end of anything that survived from plant products. If they eliminate bees with said fungus, it will be bad for my long term prospects but comforting on my lifelong phobia of stinging insects.

Media and entertainment ranked as the two most untrustworthy careers in a recent survey. Entertainment journalists returned to their evil lairs to lurk out and plan potential catastrophes on the population that painted them into this corner.

At&t is offering the entire Coachella concert on a Web access dealie-o. If I was sitting in front of a computer with nothing better to do (which I seldom am), I'd be in!

Finally, I will give you three nouns, and you will follow the link to the connector: a drunk German, a horse and an ATM.

The Burgundy Room (and other things)

Pre-Easter dinner with the parents (I had school work to do on Sunday) took place at one of Dublin, Ohio's top end wine bars. Believe it or not, the small town has a plethora of restaurants that includes two wine bars because of the Memorial Golf Tournament that takes place their every year. The town has both the Wine Shoppe Bistro (which I did not visit this time, although their olive, cheese and wine selections are always divine) and the Burgundy Room (which I did visit).

The Burgundy Room has a location in Columbus' Short North, which is a trendy area with no shortage of yuppies and a rather vibrant late-night, weekend bar crowd, as well as a location in Dublin. The menu and wine list at both locations are similar if not identical.

The restaurant features American and Mediterranean-style tapas that can be matched with wines. The waiter James (or Jimmy, depending on whom you asked) was rather knowledgeable about the food and beverage, receptive to vegetarian inquiries and engaging to speak with during the course of the meal.

My vegetarian appetizer was vegetable spring rolls with a sweet and sour/ soy dipping sauce and soba noodles. The entree was portobella ravioli in alfredo sauce.

The cocktails and matched wines were tremendous. The most pleasurable wine was the Orin Swift the Prisoner, a California blend of zinfandel, cabernet sauvignon, syrah, petit sirah and charbono. It featured ripe berry fruit with striking undercurrents of tobacco, pepper and plum, providing a perfect match to the earthy richness of the ravioli.

The pictures are below in the Picasa link.

Burgundy Room, Mischa and 40 West

There are also random assorted pictures of sweet little Mischa dog posing for the camera and a few shots of some mayhem at 40 West Lincoln, resident Otterbein party house. If you're in town, stop by and tell them I sent you.

Star of India

If you need vegetarian, few cuisines can compete with the Indian subcontinent. Star of India, which won the best ethnic food in Athens News' Best of...issue, has spicy vegetarian options to spare.

Afternoons feature a buffet with multiple vegetarian menu options. The chutneys are all flavorful. Nan, a soft puffy bread baked on the inside wall of a clay Tandoori oven, is available in many flavors. The vegetarian samosas are enormous and delicious. The paneer pakora and the vegetable pakora are both also great starters. The vegetable pakora and samosas are available as a combination appetizer platter.

My entree for the evening was a spicy chickpea curry with basmati rice. It was sneaky spicy and very good. There are eight or nine vegetarian and vegan options on the entree menu. The rice pudding was thin and more sweet than spicy. Star of India is BYOB.

Check out the pictures in the Picasa link below.

Star of India

Sucks and Rules

Sucks:

Going to the refrigerator before lunch and discovering your insulin is frozen.









Rules:

Akron/Family



"Meek Warriors"
featuring the
incomparable
Hamid Drake
(Young God Records)

When Satire Bites, Bite Back

With times more trying then ever, Americans need to find more outlets for relaxation. Leave it to our leaders to find a way to smile with pain and pitfalls surrounding their every move.

It only took $400+ billion and 60,000 casualties for the Washington Post to figure out that there was no connection between Hussein's Iraq and al-Qaeda. In other startling news, the Post also determined that the world is round, that the pope is Catholic and that Elmer Fudd will never catch that rascally rabbit.

America is planning to release the five Iranian diplomats it captured in Iraq according to a New York Sun report. The gentlemen will be sent back with specific instructions not to take over Iraq until after the United States abandons the country.

The military went on another of its strong recruiting efforts. Corey Andrew Powell, an openly gay man, was approached by the U.S. Army because of a resume he posted on Career Builder. After inquiring sarcastically about whether gays were allowed to serve in the military, Powell received back caustic e-mails that included remarks in the incendiary all caps format that read: " YOU ARE DEFINITELY UNQUALIFIED, NOW TAKE YOU GAY SELF SOMEPLACE ELSE WE DO NOT TOLERATE GAY PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN ANY PART OF THE MILITARY." and " YOU HEAD OF FTO THE GAY LAND OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO MORALS AND GET RID OF YOURSELF. PERSONALLY I THINK BEING GAY IS DISGUSTING AND IMMORAL." That was definitely not an Army Strong response.

In Somalia, European diplomats were investigating allegations of war crimes levied against participants in a battle between Somali and Ethiopian forces in the capital city of Mogadishu. President Bush plans to step in and lend assistance after he conquers Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, North Korea and Sudan. He also might take time to eat lunch before he jumps into the fray.

In the great United States Florida is beginning a policy to allow all felons but " convicted murderers, sexual predators and 'violent career criminals'” to vote in upcoming elections. The sex offenders, while they can't vote, help showcase Florida's commitment to rehabilitation for criminals in their fancy housing facilities for offenders under causeway bridges. At least the Bush White House will have somewhere safe and democratic to go in 2009.

On the other coast, the L.A. Times forecasts drought and Dust Bowl-like conditions in the Southwest because of global warming. This means that by 2050, Los Angeles will not only seem like the shittiest place on Earth; it actually will be the shittiest place on Earth. At least you'll be able to keep track of the change with the Christian Science Monitor's handy dandy Global Warming Web site.

Big automotive business is struggling in Detroit, which has prompted billionaire investor Kirk Kerkorian to bid for the Chrysler portion of the German Daimler Chrysler. Reports indicate he is paying one-eighth what the German company paid for the automaker. I don't know how you say "I'll take that disaster off your hands while you slink away into the sunset" in German, but I'm sure Kerkorian's translators have that covered.

Baseball season brings the story of Creighton pitcher Pat Venditte, an ambidextrous pitcher who gets batters out throwing right handed and left handed. Chances remain that Venditte could strike out Reds outfielder Adam Dunn right handed, left handed or merely by kicking the ball in the general direction of home plate. In Cincinnati, the town is in need of better pitching after the Wild Thing Vaughn performance of Mayor Mark Mallory.

Desecrating all that is sacred is part of the music business. However, let me be the first to say that the plan for Oasis, the Killers, the Kaiser Chiefs, the Fratellis and Razorlight to record a tribute version of the Beatles' magnum opus " Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" is a bad idea. Oasis already tried being the Beatles once...and failed. Let poor John and George rest. What's next, Carrie Underwood and Clay Aiken re-recording "Billie Holiday Sings"?

News You Can Lose

Tony LaRussa probably wishes the police had left him in jail after getting swept by the Mets in his season opening series. You probably wish I had been put in jail after break, but unlike LaRussa, even the Man (or the Mets) can't keep me down.

The superstar story of the last week has been the 15 sailors taken hostage by Iran. Recently, they were released. Iran realized if they were going to torture and kill anybody's military, these choices would be limited to the United States and France based upon evidence that both countries are full of people who are easy to hate.

The news behind the news points to mounting evidence that the U.S. is waging soldier-for-hire war with Iran while they also might be responsible for the British sailors being captured in Iran. If you are going to lose, you might as well lose big, and a war with Shi'ite Islam might be the next great step. I guess the quickest way out of Iraq might be straight through Iran.

In order to make sure the entire Middle East burns to the ground so that it can be built again from scratch, the U.S. is planning to arm Saudi Arabia and other "allies" against the newly-minted Axis of Evil opponent Iran. Israel is fighting this move. My suggestion would be move the Western Wall to China and move back after Bush is finished with his master plan.

On the domestic front, Barack Obama is rolling in the Benjamins since he has raised $25 million in campaign funds. My suggestion would be to spend it on ads to air during "American Idol" and then announce run away favorite Sanjaya as your Vice Presidential candidate before Hildo and Eddie the Ambulance Chaser get any ideas.

Murder and mayhem return to HBO next week when the Sopranos return to New Jersey. The show will wrap up. Afterward, the big question will not be what loose ends weren't wrapped up but where will any actors from New Jersey whose names end in a vowel ever find work again?

Media matters include the best news coming out of Indonesia. Playboy editor Erwin Arnada was cleared of indecency charges today. At least one can be confident that they can buy smut over the counter before the death squad executes them.

Of course, the favorite media darling is the story of freed journalist/blogger/anarchist/activist/independent media icon Josh Wolf. Wolf was imprisoned for over seven months for refusing to turn over footage of a G8 summit protest in San Francisco. His status is a hot potato topic that courts and journalists are all too happy to avoid defining. The future of media will either be a Constitutionally protected mass media collective or a Constitutionally protected all-inclusive collective of information. Stay tuned.

Billionaire Howard Zell bought the Tribune Company. Finally, somebody with billions of dollars can buy my team, spend money on them and lead them to glory in a way that a "gum company and a media conglomerate" (according to Mr. Downey) could not.

In real sports, former wide receiver Darryl Stingley died early this morning in Evanston, Illinois. The 55-year old was paralyzed by a devastating hit in a pre-season football game by Jack Tatum. This event was credited with changing the way football is played, although it certainly had no impact on the Cleveland Browns actually winning Super Bowls before or after the fact.

Billy Donovan put the Gator chomp on Kentucky today when he announced he is staying at Florida as head basketball coach. As long as he doesn't start coaching football, baseball, cricket, rugby or hockey, I'm sure Ohio State will have a shot at winning a championship in something over the next few years.

Barry Bonds is still hitting home runs. This is good for my fantasy team, but bad for everything else baseball related.

Finally, check out the Onion's article on David Ortiz and Jackie Robinson. Hilarious! He doesn't get it like Griffey.

The arts and odds and ends bring up the rear. Keith Richards is adamant that he did not snort his father. Dad will qualify as the only powder Richards didn't put up his beak.

Finally, I guarantee that if you get arrested for drunk driving, you do not A). want to be a municipal official, B). be in a bikini, and C). be a man.

Vermilion and 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

Vermilion has been on my to do list for some time now. Consider it checked off. Vermilion is an Indian/Latin fusion restaurant. They offer tapas and degustations of seven courses. This dinner was a measly two tapas with an entree.

Vermilion has luscious drinks like a tamarind margarita and a coconut cream saffron drink with dried coconut and rum that was a perfect foil to the spicy fare. The dinner started with an amuse bouche that was a spicy gazpacho accompanied by a tapioca cracker served on a plate with a character written in chili powder.

This was followed by a plate of artichoke pakoras served with a mild brown mustard and a sweet, spicy red sauce. The other plate was a manchego and Indian lentil/ vegetable empanada. The entree was asparagus wrapped in phyllo served on a red and green tomato curry with okra and spicy starch support beams.

The menu featured almost half vegetarian half not vegetarian options, and the staff was helpful in pointing out the best vegetarian items. The menu does change frequently, but the Indian part of the fusion keeps the options very veggie friendly.

Vermillion et al

The virtual barrage of bars followed.

Swirl Wine Bar featured a number of conservative wine choices and small nosh plates.

Goose Island Wrigleyville was stop number two. They have the same Goose beers on tap as my previous post on Goose Clybourn.

Casey Moran's featured sports on television, loud classic rock music, weird psychedelic patterns on screens and a bustling crowd of people with a fairly vanilla beverage list.

Then of course came the beer-from-everywhere-including-a-pile-of-Belgian options Hopleaf that has most anything you'd think of by the bottle or on draft. They have pages of Belgian beers on a menu plus a pile of tap handles. Some of my old pictures might be more telling for Hopleaf. It is part of a different trip to Chicago where I visited these same clowns.

And now your Chicago Bulls (and dinner)

When you sit in the good seats, you are in a better position to take pictures of "The Answer" Allen Iverson being questioned by Captain Kirk Heinrich while Ben Wallace and his cornrows (sob...not the 'fro) watch on in quiet anticipation.


The Bulls topped the Nuggets 109-108 in a see-saw battle at the United Center. The game ended with Ben Gordon missing a shot at the end that improbably rolled to Tyrus Thomas, who soared above the opposition to dunk the ball with 0.2 seconds left on the clock.

Luol Deng, Gordon and Heinrich ruled for the Bulls, while the two-headed Thug Nation of Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson put up a pile of points that came up about 0.2 seconds and one point short. Probably the most clutch performer at the game was the Jose Cuervo lounge with its margaritas and better-than-basketball-game-quality quesadillas.

Check out the Picasa link that has piles of Bulls game video and pictures along with a few dining experiences before the game, which will be described after the basketball links.

A bunch of meals and a Bulls game

Before the game, dinner was at the newly-opened Graze. Graze is an American small plates concept that features a wide variety of tapas and some interesting cocktails and wines that complement the small dishes nicely.

The bread was marvelous. There were flatbreads, olive bread and a sage bread with chunks of sea salt baked into it. The sage bread was an interesting taste experience with an herbal beginning and the salt making your mouth water as you swallow.

The cocktails are a mojito, which was very good, and a Moscow Mule that was absolutely killer with hints of ginger lingering on the quenching finish.

The small plates that I tried were the red pepper hummus with flatbread to dip and a cheese plate with cow, sheep and goat selections and accompaniments like griddled sweet pistachios and apples. The main course, pictured above, is a pumpkin ravioli in a vegetable broth with radishes and green peas. It was stylistically Asian flavored with enough Italian and American influences to make the dish unique. There are also side dishes like skin-on mashed potatoes made to the diner's specifications (our table had white cheddar mashed potatoes).

This restaurant has a ton of vegetarian selections. The only minor complaint in the experience was that certain dishes were a little heavy on the salt. However, a young restaurant may be trying to establish consistency, and the place had more successes than failures, so this was not a major issue.

The pictures are in the same Picasa link above that references the basketball game.


















After the game, it was time for some celebratory drinking. The first spot is about 20 blocks north of the United Center. Piece features a wide selection of beer in addition to their brew pub brewed offerings.

The place offers what they call Connecticut style pizza, which is definitely not Chicago style pizza. It is very good however, with a wide variety of toppings. The only draw back is karaoke night, which drove us back downtown.

Pops for Champagne opened a new outpost in the River North area of Chicago. The place offers a wide variety of quality champagnes and champagne cocktails that are meant to pair with a massive cheese selection and small plate selections. It took a little convincing to get me in dressed like a sporto Bulls fan.

The service was gracious if stretched a little thin. The most interesting cocktail was the Hendrick's gin with cucumber, basil and champagne. The place was more than adequate for providing Bulls celebration juice, but I recommend dressing up a bit more than Al Bundy and I typically do.

Akron/Family in Columbus, Ohio

Day one of spring break starts off with a bang, and that is absolutely not a reference to the painting of Kurt Cobain about to commit suicide under the specter of dead, young stars on the above artwork from Little Brothers in scenic Columbus, Ohio. The venue was hosting the Black Swans and the inane jam revolution that is Akron/Family.

The Black Swans got the party started with their very deliberate, slow driving style. The group is a three piece with guitar, bass and violin. The violin provides beautifully ornamented runs that typically connect the vocal sections.

The music was performed at such a slow tempo that the audience was slow dancing along with the music much like a 1950s high school dance. The lead vocalist joked that dancing like that was the same way Suzanne Summers got pregnant.

There was a short break between bands. Then Akron/Family piled up their requisite montage of musical devices and rained a furious energetic trance down on anyone and everyone within ear shot.

Each musician had a fall back instrument that they backed up with other instruments. There are two guitar players, a bassist and a drummer. Seth Olinsky, Miles Seaton, Dana Janssen and Ryan Vanderhoof play flutes and maracas and tambourines and 1980s Yamaha synthesizers and hand drums and shekere and recorders that spin a multi-genre folksplosion of music.

Many songs are an almost religious chant style, with vocals or vocables sung over melody lines that soar from under a powerful drone built by whichever members are operating the rhythm section at that juncture in time. There are classic and hard rock elements in many sections, but Akron/Family jumps around quickly enough that if you ever get bored, they'll be doing something totally different in one more minute.

The audience even got involved, with the band handing out their instruments and allowing the crowd to play recorders, tambourines and maracas along with the infectious rhythm. There was also a section with beatboxing alongside the audience's percussion foundation.

The show lasted until 1:45 a.m. Check out the photo gallery and video clips included with the presentation to get a real feel for the show.

Akron Family Web

Check out some video of the Black Swans and their carefully crafted, folksy dirges.

Here is another Black Swans clip.

This is the montage of Akron/Family video. They are all short clips.

Early Jam.

Bass Drum/Floor Tom.

Bass Drum/ Floor Tom2.

Guitar work.

Vocables in Action.

Everybody Jump and Clap!

Let's have a little bass with those 88s.

Guitar 1 close up.

Synth sounds.

The below Picasa link contains the videos from the end of the show, including the footage of everybody in the crowd jamming along with Akron/Family.

Leftover Akron Family

Another day, another dollar

As the great philosopher Gene Autry once sang, "I'm back in the saddle again."

The really important international top story is the newly minted confession by 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (who looks like a haggard "Time to Make the Donuts" guy Fred the Baker from the Dunkin Donuts commercials). He also claimed responsibility for bombings in a number of other countries, including Bali and Britain. After six years of questionable interrogation techniques and illegal incarceration, at least the U.S. will get a chance to show Iraq how to properly handle a high profile execution (if there is in fact a way to properly handle any execution).

On a more serious note, he also claimed responsibility for the execution of journalist Daniel Pearl, a Jewish American reporter for the Wall Street Journal. This is a tremendously sad event.It is so depressing that instead of making a joke about it, I will type in a moment of silence.








My good friend Tom Hemsley has been urging me to get focused on the Alberto Gonzales/federal attorney fiasco. He sees it as a cheap, partisan shill. I find that hard to believe. What kind of fool would buy into a low blow allegation like that? Well, for starters, the Nation magazine does. They call this the biggest scandal to plague the Attorney General since the 1920s. Another blog at The Nation identifies the Gonzales issue and Walter Reed as another in a long line of miserable failures by a misguided leader. A CBS interview profiles a terminated Democratic U.S. Attorney who claims he was given no reason for termination after prosecuting a person trying to start an al Qaeda training camp in Oregon as well as the Millenium bomber. Okay, maybe it was a cheap, partisan shill. How was I to know? Now I do.

The New York Times is reporting that progress in Iraq is lagging behind initial goals set by President Bush. These are the same pessimists who are still denying that the mission has in fact been accomplished.

On the front of the ever growing hoard that also doesn't believe the mission has been accomplished is Alabama teenager Ava, who makes professional quality anti-war video clips out of her bedroom. Her Web site has been receiving more and more hits. It is a terrible thing when a 16 year old can figure something out that the President can't.

But at least the war on terror is still going strong. Finally, the Justice Department is taking a bite out of that Miss Chiquita Banana hooker and her terrorist militia ties in Columbia. When nothing else is working, at least you can fall back on the war on terror.

With everything else going so smoothly in Washington, it is also difficult to fathom dozens in the G.O.P turning away from the No Child Left Behind/No Child Moves Forward education plan. House Minority Whip Roy Blunt and as well as Representatives John Cornyn and Eric Cantor (all Republicans) are all jumping off the ship. It appears that in the near future, George Bush will be the only child being left behind.

Federal attorneys who weren't fired recently have taken up prosecution of Angel Raich, a patient with scoliosis, a brain tumor, chronic nausea and other ailments that uses medical marijuana to treat her illnesses. If the war on terror isn't working, you can always go back to the ever successful war on drugs.

Or maybe you can't. According to a National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse report, frequent binge drinking and abuse of prescription drugs is up at college campuses. I'm not a doctor, but as a professional student, it would be pretty easy to blame unsafe behavior on taking the edge off the cost of college. But what do I know?

In other health news, the L.A. Times covered two cases of Chagas disease being transmitted in Los Angeles by blood transfusions. I worked on a project at a medical school with a researcher who was studying Chagas disease, an illness passed by an insect known as the kissing bug throughout Latin America. The disease causes flu-like symptoms at first, which subside and are then followed by severe organ failure as much as 20 years later, and it can be transmitted through blood transfusions. The illness is becoming more common in the United States with its increasing Latino population. Many, but not all blood banks check for Chagas disease. Ding ding ding...U.S. Government, it's your turn to take over.

In media issues, the same L.A. Times has come under fire because two reporters successfully nominated themselves for a Pulitzer Prize. Each newspaper is limited to three nominations, and some feel that this process by the Times was unethical. Everybody, that is, except for the guys who got nominated.

Sports will become all college basketball all the time with March Madness now. I always need an excuse to sit in my apartment in my underwear drinking beer and screaming at the top of my lungs. This is the kind of activity that fills my time card this time of year. So, ladies, if that's the kind of trait you look for in a man, I'll be at the apartment drinking in my underwear until 4:30. Then I have to step out and turn in a paper. I'll be back in my boxers at six. Just knock on the door...pants are optional.

In the ever-growing growth hormone problem, center fielder Gary Matthews, Jr. finally denied using HGH. This advice evidently came from his lawyer, O.J. Simpson murder trial attorney Robert Shapiro. Hopefully Shapiro can explain how Matthews' batting average went from .255 to .313 in one season in addition to his amazing spike in power. It was probably something in the water.

Also in MLB news, Pete Rose admitted to betting on the Reds every night when he managed for them. ESPN Sports Center determined that he would have lost money doing that. All I know is that I bet that admission won't help him get in the Hall of Fame. I'll keep making that bet every night, and I'll keep winning.

Mark Prior is continuing his meteoric decent into mediocrity, taking a dive to the minor leagues.

Prior's injuries were previously mocked by the Chicago Tribune in a column called "Prior Watch" that detailed every minute of his injury updates every day in print. He was the second player drafted when he was selected by the Cubs. Now he is being mocked by a guy with a bag on his head in a White Sox jersey. Oh how the mighty have fallen!

The NFL is expected to agree with the Players Association on a new automatic one year suspension for criminal behavior. It will be called the Pacman Jones/ Chris Henry/ Tank Johnson rule.

Finally, this scandal is so big that it could probably eat half a ton of edamame and soba noodles and come back for seconds. A Japanese muckraking publication is saying that Sumo wrestling is fake, and participants are denying the charges vehemently. I always wondered how Yokozuna made the easy transition to the World Wrestling Federation. Now at least I know.

This bit will wrap up with the crazy news department. Back to issues of HGH, but this time by an American icon, Sylvester Stallone has been charged with importing 48 vials of human growth hormone into Australia. It was obvious from the beginning that only heavy drug use could have caused somebody to be so delusional that they would make the movie "Rocky 7."

Another great topic in the Cleveland Scene is the article about Amish girls getting wasted. As a person who sold piles of liquor and beer to Amish guys whose secular buddies brought them to the liquour store in a van, let me be the first to tell you, "Na Zdrowie."

Finally, a new record may have been set for the best (or worst) criminal of all-time. A 13 year old Nelsonville, Ohio boy has been charged with 128 felonies, including burglary, theft, vandalism and witness intimidation. This may be the final proof needed to ascertain that some of the children have, in fact, been left behind.

Unfortunately, this may be the last political rant for a few days as the operation is moving on to sunnier spring break pastures.

Salaam = Peace

Tonight the mission to eat dinner at Salaam was accomplished. I went earlier in the week to discover that they don't serve dinner Sunday through Tuesday. Wednesday, however was a different story. After slipping into an alley off of Court Street, the plot unfolded.

There are a few details worth noting about Salaam. First, Salaam used to be a hookah bar/restaurant in a former life before the statewide smoking ban. In those days, it was known as Shisha Cafe.

Also, Salaam has no liquor license. It is BYOB. They have a $1.50 beverage service fee which is referred to as corkage fee here in civilization. That means you can spend $701.68 on a bottle of 1990 Guigal Cote Rotie La Mouline which should pair wonderfully with the Mediterranean fare, and you and your date will only have to shell out $3 to have it poured for you. What service!

Salaam typically features entertainment in the evenings, which varies from Dimitar Zarev playing classical guitar in the Bulgarian style to the good old fashioned belly dancing accompaniment on other nights. Dimitar plays in a classical style that closely resembles Spanish guitar. He plays more traditional numbers as well as Classical Gas.

The food is a hodge podge of Mediterranean cuisines, with Greek, Moroccan and Middle Eastern cuisine. They offer hummus, baba gannouj, vegetarian grape leaves and a combination platter for appetizers. There are specials every night. Although many items on the menu and in specials feature lamb, there are often vegetarian and vegan alternatives to these items.

The baba gannouj is quite good. It comes with warm pita bread and olives. At a previous visit, the vegan harira was very good. It is a hearty vegetable stew made with tomato and lentils.















Tonight was a spanakopita night. Feta, spinach and dill wrapped in crispy phyllo pastry served alongside a green salad with cubed feta and a raspberry vinaigrette really hit the spot.
















Although the hours are a pinch tricky to navigate, Salaam offers a great variety of vegetarian dining options. They also feature a fantastic wall mural, which was painted by Khoa Dang-Nguyen, a Vietnamese man with a son in school at Ohio University.

The daily news in 750 words or so

Today's news seemed to sway towards entertainment and sports more so than towards matters that actually affect people. It was that or my attention just picked up on these stories. This might have had something to do with my rush to judgment in the O.J. Mayo arrest. It might have been Greg Oden's announcement that he might stay for one more year (although he still won't graduate from Ohio State). It might have been the blurry head I woke up with this morning. However, this is the lineup of what's going on today.

In front page news, President Bush continued his persona non grata tour of Latin America, meeting with Mexican President Felipe Calderon. Probably the best part of this article, besides the "Could I throw this pinche gringo over this ledge and get away with it?" look on Calderon's face, is the contrast of the headline "Answering Latin Left, Bush Pledges to Help Poor," with the photograph caption that begins " President Bush and President Felipe Calderón of Mexico met for three hours at a luxury hotel." My first suggestion would have been to have the meeting in the Hotel Prim, which according to Expedia, is a steal at $43 per night. But you can't win them all.

Suicide bombers in Pakistan have started to focus attacks on civilian targets as well as military targets according to a New York Times report. President Musharraf refers to the increased attacks as a Talibanization. Whether this is true or not, this would definitely make a great title for Justin Timberlake's next album.

Also, after using Expedia to get hotel rates in Mexico, I can tell you without a doubt that Mexico is a far better vacation destination than Afghanistan. The best hotel rate I could get in Afghanistan was a double room with satellite television for $175 per night. The only real benefit to the vacation is the fantastic exchange rate between the dollar and the afghani. However, the margaritas are far more difficult to find in Kabul than they are in Ciudad de Mexico. At least the opium is plentiful.

As a trifecta from the Times, the civil rights group Council on American-Islamic relations has come under scrutiny for purported links to Hamas and Hezbollah. Yes, America--fighting terrorism one civil rights activist at a time!

On the health front, USA Today cited research that states that cancer rates will swell 55 percent by the year 2020, and that the increase in oncologists will not be able to keep up with the demand. This comes on top of a previous New York Times report that predicted a similar shortage in geriatric practitioners based upon the aging population. One Dr. Gregory Rutecki performed clinical research on this topic and correlated career choice with controllable lifestyle, suggesting the trend will continue. This is all the more reason for me to keep drinking and practicing irresponsible sexual behaviors--so I can beat cancer and the shortage of old people doctors in the future!

At least the Onion has the right advice for the Hillary Clinton Presidential campaign.

Domestic news stories are slightly less depressing, but equally noteworthy. New Yorkers are outraged by some maniac who beat up a 101 year old woman and robbed her in front of a surveillance camera. I haven't seen New Yorkers this upset since the Red Sox came back from an 0-3 hole to beat the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS.

On a lighter note, Colorado state legislators are fighting a battle to get John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" declared the state song. Opponents believe the "High" is a drug high, while Sen. Bob Hagedorn believes it refers to endorphins. Hagedorn is a Democrat from suburban Denver, a city that decriminalized marijuana in 2005. Whether the song is about being high off pot or life, it is certain that the majority of the population of Boulder is still high off one of the two from the last John Denver concert in the late 1990s.

Now it's on to depressing sports news. The New York Times features a story about dementia amongst former football players. The increasing problem has united wives of the players who often need assisted living that can sometimes be tough to come by with the fickle nature of the NFL retirement plan.

The problem of not remembering who a player played his football with is more common than one would guess. Michael Irvin did so much coke he can't remember if he belongs in the Hall of Fame or not. Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson used drugs on the sidelines. Steve McMichael and Dan Hampton were so drunk when the Bears were so drunk in 1985 that they probably barely remember winning the Super Bowl. Luckily, their retirement plans will allow them to keep living this way, while older generation superstars who can't remember their past are trying to figure out the future.

In cheery, happy sports news, the Chicago Bulls out-Irished the Celtics 95-87 last night. Tyrus Thomas was decked out in St. Patrick's day garb which may or may not have helped him drop 23 on the hapless team named after the Irish.

In the category of everything else interesting, Slate featured an article that suggested NCAA bracketology as being the preferred method for people to create their own "Best of" lists. Using this methodology, one can easily determine that Rush Limbaugh is the world's worst pundit, defeating Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter in the Final Four.

In the meat is bad/organic and fair trade is good department, a Times editorial criticizes treatment of animals as food while a Christian Science Monitor article cites fair trade and organic food as a growing market in Britain. Hooray on both fronts!

Arts news allows me to continue being an a%$hole. Social scientific research using factor analysis has identified music choice as an indicator of personality type. Despite the questionable value of factor analysis in certain situations (i.e. psychological research on deeply rooted cultural phenomena like music), the article led me to some interesting conclusions. Mainly, my conclusions are that people who listen to Fall Out Boy are emotionally shallow, intellectually deprived suburbanites, people who listen to Fergie are easily fooled by slight of hand tricks and that people who listen to Justin Timberlake are extremely stupid, American or both.

I don't know what that says about the codgers who were treated to a one song Who concert in Tampa last night. Maybe they won't be fooled again. I don't know what this says about my generation. I guess the kids weren't all right.

New House (o Casa Nueva)

Wall art from Casa Nueva















So I left the apartment with one plan and ended up enacting an entirely different plan. But hey, at least I got to test out my camera so I am not complaining.

I left the house planning to enjoy some Spanakopita at Salaam. However, since this restaurant is only open for dinner from Wednesday through Saturday (lunch is Monday through Saturday), I got shut out! Oh well. For better or worse, they are BYOB, so I went down the street to an establishment that could sell me alcohol that they provided rather than the hooch I brought off the streets.

I took the 100 foot long stroll to Casa Nueva. This place is a vegan/vegetarian/anybody with tastebuds paradise. There is only one problem with Casa Nueva. The food is great. The drinks are great. The people who work there are great. The wait from when you show up to when you get served is...not so great. Whenever you show up, plan on drinking and/or eating appetizers at the bar. The minimum wait seems to be 30 minutes.

That being said, I wait time and time again. The specials are always interesting. Tuesday specials involve King Family Farm meat, which is not in the realm of things I eat (although I applaud their commitment to quality). However, there are more veggie items here mixed up for vegetarians of all shapes, sizes and adjectival characteristics than I can eat in a seasonal menu period, so Casa is muy bien (see pictures of Salaam and Casa Nueva in link below).

casa

The place is a cooperative, meaning all of the employees own it. This is a fantastic thing to note for the Marxist horde reading this right now.
















The specials are always interesting. Casa has offered specials on fusion night that include an Ecuadorean styled empanada with Indian curried potatoes and a huge plate of seasoned rice and vegetables. That previous experience led me to get the special with artichoke heart empanadas.

The combo platter (yeah, I'm really falling off, aren't I?) features a rolled artichoke heart and onion enchilada topped with salsa verde and the artichoke heart empanadas served with a side of jasmine rice and black beans.



















The food is really only one reason to fall in love with the Casa. The commitment to organic, sustainable local products is impeccable. Check the end of the menu...it is impressive. Organic produce, non-irradiated spices, fair trade organic coffee and a wide assortment of infused vodka drinks that work cohesively with the food are some of the many reasons it feels good to eat at C. N. In addition to the infused vodkas, Casa features a number of Ohio brews on tap. Casa Nueva also features music most nights.