News You Can Peruse

The Cubbies...you can set your watch by their consistent inconsistency. Hopefully the new outfielder's potential doesn't end up being Pie in the sky.

The story of the day continues to be the Virginia Tech shooting. The identity of the shooter was announced (he's also a hell of a playwright), but the media angles for this story are deeper than the kid with a gun stories all over the airwaves. Students were keeping up with the story through Web updates. CNN's on the spot reporter was a Va-Tech graduate student with a cell phone camera. This may be the first tragedy brought to you live in grainy YouTube-quality video linked on Facebook.

Sudan has finally agreed to allow U.N. aid workers into the country in a move that is viewed as a potential precursor to a peacekeeping effort. American efforts would most likely be available if they weren't hopelessly quagmired in the Iraq debacle.

Presidential candidates named John are doing everything they can to separate themselves from the crowd by saying and doing stupid things. John McCain still defends guns, even after a South Korean student killed 32 students before he killed himself in Blacksburg. McCain is definitely a few bullets shy of a full clip on gun control...keep your mouth shut, Big Gun. At least he isn't getting multiple $400 haircuts like John "I Feel Pretty" Edwards. When he doesn't make it in Washington, I'm sure Hollywood holds endless potential.

Ohio State was doing their best Ohio University impression when hackers stole the identities of 14,000 employees and 3,500 students. Most identities can be used for ill-gotten gains, but if they got Maurice Clarett's information, they would most likely would get slightly less than the Broncos got by drafting him.

Mother Jones profiled the environmental harm and engineering flaws inherent in Apple iPods. These problems are in addition to the problems they create making oblivious morons to walk in traffic with impunity.

Interesting media stories include the campaign to reform internet radio. The medium may be dying out as the price for royalty fees shot up drastically last year. Great free sites like Pandora will be gradually phased out and replaced by pay-to-play sites. If somebody goes postal because of this, at least you will be able to get video footage at the newly minted Smoking Gun video vault.

In news of the weird, the most popular prophylactic in New York is the official free NYC condoms produced by Lifestyles. The report states that over 5 million lubricated condoms have been used in the back seat of Derek Jeter's limousine this year alone.

Finally, a German military instructor was dismissed after a video of him instructing recruits that they should pretend they were shooting blacks in the Bronx surfaced. People haven't been this upset with the German military since the last time they invaded Poland.

Love You 42 Times

Monday means it's time to play ball. While it's still in play, I would like to extend my hand to any living relative of Jackie Robinson and offer you the opportunity to bat one through nine in the Cubs lineup this spring. Make sure you bring a glove.

The story du jour is everybody's favorite tabloid topic -- school shootings. The Va Tech shooting left 33 dead in a tragic event that raised the casualty bar from previous shootings in Colorado and Texas. This storyline surfaces once every few years, and people blame gun control, religion, video games and/or any other blame peg to hang their pseudo-psychological arguments on. When the report was Virginia Tech, the only broken figure that would be capable of such a thing that easily came to mind was Marcus Vick based upon his previous record in Blacksburg, but those reports were not the case.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is expected to admit that he screwed up in the firing of U.S. attorneys in front of an attentive Congressional audience. He is also expected to tow the party line and explain that the firings were NOT politically motivated but the orders did come from the White House. It doesn't take a pencil to connect the dots, and even if you connected the dots, the outline would be a giant, steaming pile of horse manure.

Jose Padilla goes on trial this week after five years in solitary confinement without charges being filed. After all of the torture and Constitutional tango described in an L.A. Times article, the former Chicago gang member will face reduced charges. This is the smoke-and-mirrors proof that USAPATRIOT Act is working for...somebody other than Jose, apparently.

The NY Times features a story on illegal immigrants filing tax returns before the impending deadline, which should be helpful information for Roger Federer and Zinedine Zidane if they forgot their green cards. It should be on Bill O'Reilly's talking points like yesterday.

Sports Sunday celebrated Jackie Robinson's breaking of the color barrier with memorials around the country and 14 hours of prerecorded features that covered up for the dearth of footage based on multiple rain outs. Chicago also won the competition to be the American bid for the 2016, proving for the fiftieth time why Chicago is great and Los Angeles is a pit.

In another tragic loss to the creative community, New York free jazz spot Tonic closed its doors for good Friday after a pile of musicians including John Zorn, Marc Ribot, DJ Spinoza and Matthew Shipp were among the many played through the wreckers coming in to tear the club down. Places like this need to exist so that real art can be produced, the kind that isn't designed by boardrooms full of M.B.A.s, lawyers and pimps but rather by dynamic, organically realized music that is new and stretches your imagination to places that it couldn't conceptualize over and over, finding music that speaks to you without words. Great music so rarely happens in Madison Square Garden but is always happening in little out of the way places like the Hideout (great shows this Tuesday, Friday and Saturday)and Elastic (great shows this Tuesday and Thursday), and these shows require support from crowds more so than do the big venues and the A&R man driving the Mercedes S-Class. (I'm jumping down from the soap box now, but please please support independent music. Ornette Coleman just won a Pulitzer for music, so I do have some hope.)

Finally, Hawaiian music legend Don Ho died over the weekend. Put on your favorite loud shirt and sing along to some of the favorites in memoriam.

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

The Greatest Living American Novelist is no longer Kurt Vonnegut. Good luck equaling him, whoever next steps up to the plate. Whoever approaches him as a writer will have to do much in life to equal him as a human being. May your afterlife be as productive and fulfilling as your life, Mr. Vonnegut. Bless you and your piercing insight.

You are a wampeter, an object on which many unrelated people's lives are centered. I can tell myself foma, harmless little lies that won't bring you back. A writer like myself hopes not to become part of a grandfalloon in your absence and any attempt for me to find my voice in writing is eternally in your debt.

About the news...so it goes. Al Qaeda groups are linked to a bombing in Algeria that claimed 24 lives. The event highlights a struggle between Islamic and secular groups in Algeria. British soccer fans are irate that the bomb was not aimed a few hundred miles north in the middle of France.

In other hater news, U.S. military officials are renewing accusations of Iranian assistance being provided to Iraqi insurgents. Since American officials needed sheer speculation to start a war with Iraq, the cruise missiles should start dropping in about two weeks.

Further around the Axis of Evil wheel is the report of a U.S. inquiry and subsequent asset freezing of an account in a Chinese bank in the gambling center of Macao. Officials suspected the bank was laundering money for North Korea. These moves stalled North Korea's joining in peace negotiations about their nuclear ambitions. The U.S. sees negative potential from the money, while Kim Jong Il I'm sure claims that he earned the money when he wrote six Wagner-quality operas and that the money is his. Nobody may ever know who is telling the truth.

Don Imus is gone. Good riddance. Just remember Don, free speech isn't free when you pay with your job.

David Sedaris of the Washington Post has come under fire for fabrications in his humor columns. He has also received an unwaivering degree of support from other journalists. Nick Bakay, Kenny Mayne, the author of this column and journalists with a sense of humor might care for an answer. (That answer is truth counts no matter how funny it is, David S., especially in the Washington Post.)

There are indications of a medical procedure that makes chemotherapy more targeted and less toxic in a development reported as a breakthrough in oncology. Keep that number on speed dial.

In a slightly dated report, the Google Earth/Darfur project should provide Bush a computerized model of what is going on in Sudan, but I don't know if that will help. Hopefully another world leader catches on.

Heavyweight boxing might not be exciting like the good old days, but freak-show 7 foot tall 326 pound champion Nikolai Valuev is fighting a challenger who is 11 inches shorter and 101 pounds lighter than he is. David, meet Goliath.

Mike Downey takes on a dome on Wrigley, Dannielynne, Soriano, Bonds, Sosa, Cuban and Bartman in one column. If you can think of a joke punchline that involves all of those characters, comment on the blog here.

Crazy stories that have no news value but are always amongst the most e-mailed include the Lantern story about the 18 year police veteran who gave a presentation on legalizing drugs. The T-shirt and cowboy hat cement his credibility.

Speaking of drugs, British police raided a Rastafarian temple once visited by Bob Marley and issued gun and drug charges. I don't want to say they should have thought it out, but the cops could have guessed the Rastafarians would have marijuana, and they also know that Marley shot the sheriff. Even if he didn't shoot the deputy, it's enough for probable cause stateside.

Poo too weet!

Imus is a Cowboy

Sometimes a cowboy gets in one too many gun fights his enemies and gets taken down in the crossfire. Don Imus is the cowboy. The response from advertisers, pundits, bloggers and everybody else with an ounce of common sense is the crossfire.

News about Iraq makes the typical top story. Today, it's raining Iraq stories. Soldiers had their tours of duty in Iraq extended by three months. While their duty is extended, however, the troops are slightly rudderless. Three retired four star generals have refused White House requests to become the new czar in charge of the war effort in Iraq and Afghanistan. I keep forgetting what that quote is about rats and a sinking ship, but I'm sure I'll remember it eventually.

A federal panel reported limited evidence of voter fraud in previous elections and suggested voter identification should be required for elections. Democrats oppose the move, saying they believe this will decrease their voter turnout. After losing the last two elections to Bush II, perhaps they should concentrate their efforts on putting a candidate up that has a chance of winning an election. In the last Presidential election, Bush was so unpopular that Bucky Dent would have carried Massachusetts if he ran as a Democrat.

In other reports of people I wouldn't vote for with a gun to my head, Rudy Giuliani has been dodging controversy all over the place since he announced his plans to run for President. First, his marital issue (divorcing his second cousin) came up. Then he defended screwball radio doofus Don Imus. Now he's dodging questions about his comments regarding the Terri Schiavo controversy. If I have to choose between Rudy and Hillary in the next election, I will move to Switzerland and lodge at Frank Serpico's former digs as soon as the votes are counted.

Medical news is also notable today. Brazilian researchers utilized hematopioetic stem cells from bone marrow to create islet cells, curing type I diabetes in the patients. The study is in early stages. There are dangers to the procedure, which uses cyclophosphamide, a substance that can cause bladder cancer and leukemia, and it currently can only be performed in patients recently diagnosed with diabetes. It also involves severe immunosuppression. As a type I diabetic, all I want to hear is more good news. The Dems are challenging the moral scientist George Bush's threat to veto fetal stem cell legislation in the U.S., so hopefully the utilitarian philosophy will prevail.

Media reports are currently all Imus, all the time. Imus, who might as well have been invisible before last week, had his show canceled at MSNBC after advertisers jumped ship. Finally that nappy-headed hoser will have an easier time returning to anonymity.

Although slightly less newsworthy, Taalam Acey has a new documentary featuring his dynamic poetry performances. Acey delivers at a level that most people can't imagine spoken word achieving. Just go see him.

Sports stories were also plentiful today. Four Italian soccer fans were arrested after violence erupted after a match in Manchester, U.K. Soccer, much like hockey, has trouble keeping relevant without the gratuitous violence. Unlike hockey, most of the violence is in the stands.

The legal circus that was the Duke lacrosse rape case finally came to an end with the prosecutor dropping all charges. This freed Court TV to cover Anna Nicole Smith material all day, everyday one day too late.

Baseball season has gotten off to an interesting start, with snow moving the Cleveland Indians' home opener to Milwaukee. Tribune columnist Rick Morrissey tells everybody that they should suck it up and quit complaining. With global warming where it's at, in a few more years we'll be complaining that it's too hot in Florida and Los Angeles to play baseball in July.

In feel good baseball news, the College Baseball Hall of Fame selected Jim Abbott in the latest class. Abbott, a pitcher born without a right hand, accomplished more with one hand than Mark Prior and Kerry Wood did combined with four hands.

The New York Knicks accused the Chicago Bulls of running the score up against them last night in Chicago's 98-69 victory. The Bulls claimed they were not running the score up. They were trying to score 100 points so the fans would win a Big Mac in a promotion with McDonalds. Former Bull Eddie Curry expressed displeasure with the score. However, since all he accomplished while he was in Chicago was eating Big Macs, he could at least let the fans eat one.

In crazy weird news, the Germs' drummer Don Bolles was arrested in Los Angeles after police tested a bottle of a cleaning agent in his car that allegedly contained the date rape drug GHB. Soap of this kind could be very dangerous if it fell into the hands of a devious rapist with a germ phobia. Stay tuned to this one.

In New Port Richey, Florida, a string of robberies has terrorized local gas stations in and around the town. The robber enters gas stations and threatens clerks with what he claims is a syringe filled with H.I.V. positive blood. In other words, the crazy junkie tells gas station employees to jump, and they answer, "How High?" while handing him all of the money in the register.

Sucks and Rules 2

Sucks: Medeski, Scofield, Martin and Wood -- Out Louder (Indirecto)

In typical MMW (and now MSMW) fashion, this album opens up with a rip roaring track. The last album "End of the World Party (Just In Case)" had no redeeming characteristics, while the album before it "Uninvisible" consisted of the title track (good song) and every other track (crap). The new album "Out Louder" has the track "Little Walter Rides Again", a rocking guitar jam that promises great things that the rest of the album can't deliver on. MSMW spend the rest of the album rehashing tired hippie jazz cliches, and the album falls flat. The biggest plus to the album is that the CD book is printed on 100% recycled paper. Unfortunately, aside from the covers (by Peter Tosh and the Beatles) the material is built of recycled or rehashed MMW material shifted around to fit in a jazz giant in Scofield, and the album isn't nearly as good as it could be.
























Rules: Peter Brotzmann, Joe McPhee, Kent Kessler and Michael Zerang -- Tales Out of Time(Hatology)

If you see the names Brotzmann and McPhee, run (don't walk) to wherever the two titans are. This release isn't new (it is from 2004). However, since I just bought the album and since McPhee is playing with The Thing at the Hideout in Chicago in two weekends, I will give the album a thumbs up.

The program is a mix of standards, originals and free ballads. The originals are composed by McPhee and Brotzmann, and the standard is a Mingus-derived "Blessed Assurance" that features Brotzmann honking while McPhee arpeggiates and Zerang and Kessler provide an intricately textured rhythmic support under the beautiful chaos.

Mo Money, Mo Problems

Above is the look of ecstasy and joy that comes from being named the father of the little bundle of money...err, joy Dannielynne. Congratulations on your success, and may I never hear the name Birkhead or Anna Nicole in the news ever again.

In real news, a throng of protesters loyal to Moktada al-Sadr demonstrated against American occupation in Iraq on the fourth anniversary of the fall of Baghdad. Unlike Americans, Iraqis have in fact discovered the fringe benefits of free speech and the right to demonstrate. Like Americans, they will also learn that President Bush is not listening.

The L.A. Times reporter Borzou Daragahi wrote a tremendous story detailing the last 4 and 1/2 years the reporter has spent in Iraq. He details the trials and tribulations spent by a reporter working to tell the stories of Iraqis in the war zones and inform the public in the United States. With everybody overly critical of MSM (mainstream media), it is good to see evidence of the value of real journalists who do news work for the public good (i.e. not bloggers and not the pundits).

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced today that Iran plans to produce nuclear fuel on an industrial level, drawing sharp criticism from opponents of Iran's nuclear ambitions. President Ahmadinejad claims the materials will be used for energy needs and not weapons. That remark has been considered the biggest bomb (all puns intended) since Don Imus became a women's basketball commentator. Last week's hostage issue was the number one story of this week according to the Project for Excellence in Journalism, keeping the focus on Iran.

On the other side of the Axis of Evil, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson enjoyed a tour of the U.S.S. Pueblo, a naval vessel captured by North Korea in the 1960s. Richardson, who is also a Democratic candidate for President, described the presentation as unpleasant propaganda, much the same way that Rupert Murdoch describes the movie "Outfoxed."

In trade issues, the United States has filed suit against China because of alleged widespread piracy of American movies, music, books and software in the country. This is a terrible move, as without $2 copies of Hollywood blockbusters available at bodegas worldwide, I will probably never pay to see another film again.

Media news leads with the Don Imus developments. Imus is an ancient out-of-touch relic of a radio host who called the Rutgers women's basketball team some very unkind, racist names on his CBS show. He was called to the mat by Al Sharpton, who has an interesting racist history of his own, and defended his comments to Sharpton and a senator, whom Imus referred to as "you people." The Rutgers team agreed to finally meet with Imus after issuing critical statements. Soon, Imus and his 1950s shtick should be right where they belong, off the air and locked inside a ranch where nobody has to listen to him or see his hideous hair.

While on the subject of old men with incredible hair cuts, it is nearly impossible to pass up the Phil Spector murder trial. Spector, one of the legends in recording whose influential career includes writing and recording scores of hits with every girl group ever in the 1960s and a number of rock and roll legends with his famous Wall of Sound, has been accused of murdering actress Lana Clarkson by blowing her head off with a shotgun. Clarkson has appeared in many television and film roles. The specter of Spector's craziness should make this trial the most fun since the glove didn't fit.

Sports news involves the new sheriff/commissioner Roger Goodell bringing the pain to repeat offenders in the NFL. The first two to go down were Adam "Pacman" Jones (full season) and Chris "Felonyman" Henry (8 games). Cleveland Browns fans are desperately trying to get coach Romeo Crennel, center LeCharles Bentley and quarterback Charlie Frye to go somewhere and get arrested immediately so they can start over again from scratch.

Finally, in bizarre news, the L.A. Times profiled 94-year-old John Rodriguez, California's oldest prisoner. The article states that his chances of parole for murder are slim, but even his past record is hardly enough to disqualify him from military service. Hopefully I'll see you in Baghdad, buddy.

Why I Watch Fox News

There are many reasons to watch Fox News. They have the best ratings on cable, so you are only doing what everybody else is doing. Unlike other news outlets, they are fair AND balanced. They also have the No-Spin Zone with expert commentary from Bill O'Reilly, the fortuitous news fusion of Cicero and Aristotle who delivers the truth straight from the source.

Their best feature is Dr. Gregory Rutecki on the "Weekend Live" program as the resident expert on transplant ethics Sunday afternoon. The good doctor has been cited in previous posts (and he also might be a distant relative). Enjoy the all to brief video link below.

Greg on Fox News

The Burgundy Room (and other things)

Pre-Easter dinner with the parents (I had school work to do on Sunday) took place at one of Dublin, Ohio's top end wine bars. Believe it or not, the small town has a plethora of restaurants that includes two wine bars because of the Memorial Golf Tournament that takes place their every year. The town has both the Wine Shoppe Bistro (which I did not visit this time, although their olive, cheese and wine selections are always divine) and the Burgundy Room (which I did visit).

The Burgundy Room has a location in Columbus' Short North, which is a trendy area with no shortage of yuppies and a rather vibrant late-night, weekend bar crowd, as well as a location in Dublin. The menu and wine list at both locations are similar if not identical.

The restaurant features American and Mediterranean-style tapas that can be matched with wines. The waiter James (or Jimmy, depending on whom you asked) was rather knowledgeable about the food and beverage, receptive to vegetarian inquiries and engaging to speak with during the course of the meal.

My vegetarian appetizer was vegetable spring rolls with a sweet and sour/ soy dipping sauce and soba noodles. The entree was portobella ravioli in alfredo sauce.

The cocktails and matched wines were tremendous. The most pleasurable wine was the Orin Swift the Prisoner, a California blend of zinfandel, cabernet sauvignon, syrah, petit sirah and charbono. It featured ripe berry fruit with striking undercurrents of tobacco, pepper and plum, providing a perfect match to the earthy richness of the ravioli.

The pictures are below in the Picasa link.

Burgundy Room, Mischa and 40 West

There are also random assorted pictures of sweet little Mischa dog posing for the camera and a few shots of some mayhem at 40 West Lincoln, resident Otterbein party house. If you're in town, stop by and tell them I sent you.

Star of India

If you need vegetarian, few cuisines can compete with the Indian subcontinent. Star of India, which won the best ethnic food in Athens News' Best of...issue, has spicy vegetarian options to spare.

Afternoons feature a buffet with multiple vegetarian menu options. The chutneys are all flavorful. Nan, a soft puffy bread baked on the inside wall of a clay Tandoori oven, is available in many flavors. The vegetarian samosas are enormous and delicious. The paneer pakora and the vegetable pakora are both also great starters. The vegetable pakora and samosas are available as a combination appetizer platter.

My entree for the evening was a spicy chickpea curry with basmati rice. It was sneaky spicy and very good. There are eight or nine vegetarian and vegan options on the entree menu. The rice pudding was thin and more sweet than spicy. Star of India is BYOB.

Check out the pictures in the Picasa link below.

Star of India

Sucks and Rules

Sucks:

Going to the refrigerator before lunch and discovering your insulin is frozen.









Rules:

Akron/Family



"Meek Warriors"
featuring the
incomparable
Hamid Drake
(Young God Records)